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Paramount Signs Michael Bay to Destroy Childhoods for Three More Years

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, July 31 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

Paramount Signs Michael Bay to Destroy Childhoods for Three More Years

The expanded first look deal will cover both Platinum Dunes and Bay Films productions.

Source: Deadline

Not content with destroying the childhoods of Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans, Paramount Pictures has signed an expanded "first look" deal with Michael Bay's production companies Platinum Dunes and Bay Films. The deal gives Paramount first crack at collaborating on the ruination of beloved franchises through mindless, awful movie adaptations that eschew faith to the source material in exchange for lots of explosions and casting Megan Fox. Bay's Transformers films have grossed nearly four billion dollars so far, but the money is nothing next to the reaping of broken souls that will presumably power some kind of joint Bay and Paramount doomsday weapon.

Bay's TMNT is out this month. Next on his list of franchises to brutally defile are the Ouija Board and Friday the 13th, sometime in 2015, unless Bay has acrued enough souls by then and plunges the world into 1000 years of darkness. Stay tuned to The Outhouse for updates on that if you still have an internet connection during the end times.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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