Tragedy nearly struck in Williamsburg yesterday when self-proclaimed pop-culture provocateurs SPACELAB9 and comic book distribution monopolists DIAMOND COMIC DISTRIBUTORS announced plans for a comic book shop exclusive deluxe edition vinyl LP for the official soundtrack to multi-award winning fan-favorite drama series AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD. According to a press release, the “Violent Violet” variant edition LP is packaged in a full color gatefold jacket and heavy card stock inner bag featuring images from the hit TV series. An 18" x 24" full color poster is included as a bonus, but it was this next part that probably caused all the trouble:
AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD: Original Soundtrack Volume One “Violent Violet” edition is limited to 400 copies which will ensure it's sought after by rabid zombie fans everywhere!
Within the hour, Koffee and Komix, a comic book shop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn that specializes in small press comics, thirty-six hour triple fair trade cold brewed Turkish osmosis coffee, and Marxism was besieged by mobs of overweight men in faux shabby clothing and neck beards demanding copies of the ultra rare vinyl album.
"At first we thought they were zombies," Koffee and Komix barista Andrea Hatcher told The Outhouse. "But they moved much slower than zombies, and they smelled worse, so we realized they were actually some kind of crazy fanboy/hipster hybrid. A genetically evolved super-nerd."
For several hours, the fipsters shambled around the parking lot, harassing passers-by and moaning about minor plot incongruities with the recently released Guardians of the Galaxy movie. The CDC reportedly considered getting sending a containment team to the site, but the crowd eventually dispersed when one of the creatures attempted to make small talk, setting off a widespread chain reaction of social anxiety.
In response to the near-tragedy, SPACELAB9 decided to delay the release of the record until next week. AMC’s THE WALKING DEAD: Original Soundtrack Vol.1 “Violent Violet” Edition, featuring tracks from composer Bear McCreary and artists Jamie N. Commons, Voxhaul Broadcast, Baby Bee, Fink, Lauren Cohan (Maggie Greene) & Emily Kinney (Beth Greene) as well as multiplatinum Icelandic artists Of Monsters and Men. will be available at fine comic book stores everywhere on August 27th 2014.