Thursday, October 28, 2021 • R.I.P. Edition • ISIS approved!

DC Readers Outraged by Drastic Changes as Company Introduces New Power Girl

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, August 21 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

DC Readers Outraged by Drastic Changes as Company Introduces New Power Girl

Lots of people are talking about the new Power Girl, but one specific physical characteristic is stirring up lots of outrage.

Source: Newsarama

When DC Comics decided to replace the popular Earth 2 Power Girl character in its World's Finest series, Karen Starr, with a new seventeen-year-old black Power Girl named Tanya Spears, the publisher expected some backlash. That's what happens whenever changes are made to a beloved character. But when Karen returned to her war-torn alternate Earth and bequeathed the name Power Girl to Tanya, DC's editorial staff, which, according to an interview with Paul Levitz on Newsarama, mandated this specific change, was met with a much angrier response than they anticipated.

"Where the fuck is the boob window?!" cried enraged DC reader Angus MacStickenbutt. "A Power Girl without a boob window isn't a power girl at all!"

(You thought it was because she's black, didn't you? *shakes head*)

Indeed, MacStickenbutt's sentiment is being echoed by thousands of readers, all demanding that DC explain why they decided to change one of the most fundamental aspects of such an iconic character. The boob window, according to fans, is as important to Power Girl as dead parents are to Batman, witty banter is to Spider-Man, or stabbing your own children death is to Wolverine. It's iconic, like Superman's neck-snap or Captain America's hypocritical fascism. And now it's gone.

"I knew something was wrong as soon as the issue hit stands," said Professor of Cartoon Breast Fashion at the prestigious DeVry University in New Brunswick, New Jersey, Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms. "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feared something terrible had happened. So of course, I went down to my local comic book store immediately to find out what was wrong."

What Puffinbottoms found was a scene reminiscent of some of the biggest protests in recent memory, like the Occupy Wall Street movement or the Arab Spring. Thousands of comic book fans had gathered outside the store, set up a tent village, and were demanding that DC return Power Girl's boob window without delay.

"We've taken enough!" shouted one of the protests' leaders, a young woman who, like many protestors on the scene, had cut a small, symbolic boob window in her own shirt as a show of solidarity. Her message was repeated by several protestors further back in the crowd, making use of a technique known as "the people's microphone" to amplify a speaker's voice in lieu of a PA system. "We stood by as they took away Superman's underwear, but we're not going to do nothing as they take away Power Girl's soul!"

This isn't the first time DC has tried to do away with Power Girl's boob window. In fact, when Karen Starr was first introduced in DC's Nu52 as the Earth 2 Power Girl, she didn't have a boob window. Fan response was so vitriolic that DC actually had to spend several issues concocting a storyline that led to Karen creating a new costume with the boob window in place. But it seems they haven't learned their lesson, and now it's fans that have to pay the price.

"I'm forty-seven years old, I live in my mother's basement, and I've never been touched by a woman," said one protestor who exemplifies DC's target audience. "The boob window was all I had!"

Hopefully, DC hears the weeping of its fanbase and puts a boob window on Tanya's costume by the time she appears next in September's World's Finest: Future's End 3DNado #1. The titular future may in fact depend on it.

UPDATE: Terrified by the protests, DC Comics released a statement promising to bring back the boob window and showed this cover to get everyone to back off.

The boob window is BACK, baby! And this time, it's a DOUBLE boob window!

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author of said content. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!