Wednesday, January 18, 2017 • Afternoon Edition • "Where your childhood dreams don't have to die alone."

RUMOR: Jeremy Renner to be Replaced by More Handsome Actor as Hawkeye in Avengers: Age of Ultron

Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, August 27 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

RUMOR: Jeremy Renner to be Replaced by More Handsome Actor as Hawkeye in Avengers: Age of Ultron

Or at least, that's what this totally taken out of context picture leads us to believe.

Source: Photo taken from Empire, everything else blatantly made up

In hot rumors that we just made up a second ago, we have reason to believe that Jeremy Renner is being shown the door in Avengers: Age of Ultron.  If the below photograph is any indication, Joss Whedon has decided that he's better fit to play Hawkeye then Renner.  

As you can see, Whedon seems to be fed up with Renner's poor cleaning habits,  as evidenced by the plethora of trash on the ground, and is shooting an imaginary "You're Fired" arrow at the actor to help illustrate the point that he's no longer welcome on set.  Whedon's hired muscle, an Eastern European thug name Vladmir, stands in the background, presumably ready to drag Renner away after Whedon is done emasculating and humiliating him. 

The writing was on the wall for Renner when Hawkeye's costume was redesigned for the second movie.  While Whedon would have trouble fitting into Hawkeye's original costume, the costume was redesigned to better hide Whedon's thicker frame and lack of bulging arm muscles.  This will be Whedon's first major acting role, and it's believed that he's eager to get to all the kissing scenes he's just written between him and Scarlett Johansson. 

No word on how many idiots will take this CLEARLY FARCICAL ARTICLE seriously, but we're guessing it will be more than a few.  

Support our sponsors:

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


More articles from ThanosCopter
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!