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New Axis Teaser Confirms Tony Stark is a Dick

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, August 29 2014 and posted in News with Benefits

New Axis Teaser Confirms Tony Stark is a Dick

Stay tuned for tomorrow's AXIS teaser answering the age-old question: is water wet?

Source: Newsarama

Marvel released their second teaser for Avengers and X-Men: AXIS today, trying to drum up hype for their next super-mega-crossover event before their current super-mega-crossover event, Original Sin, is even finished. This teaser focuses on Tony Stark, showing the Avenger drinking what appears to be a glass of white wine with the tagline "This is your fault, Stark!"

Like all of Marvel's teasers, this one appears to have been constructed with as little effort as possible, and reveals absolutely nothing about the upcoming event. However, it does have the benefit of forcing comic book news sites to try to come up with something of value to say about them, which results in people like Newsarama editor Lucas Siegel being forced to write sentences like:

What did Tony do? Is this before or after he alters and releases Extremis into the general population? Yeah, this teasers asks more questions than it answers - which is exactly what a teaser is supposed to do.


Clearly, Siegel is losing brain functioning from having to feign excitement for this insipid nonsense day after day, year after year. But he does bring up a good point. What is Tony Stark's fault? Pretty much everything. We recently learned through USA Today articles about Original Sin (who even bothers to read the actual comics when Marvel spoils all the plot points in mainstream media?) that Stark is responsible for the accident that turned Bruce Banner into the Hulk. During the previous Avengers and X-Men crossover, Avengers vs. X-Men, it was Stark's idiotic plan to shoot the genocidal space god The Phoenix Force with a big space gun, splitting it into five parts and ultimately causing Cyclops to kill Charles Xavier. Stark was also at fault for the Marvel Civil War a few years back, and the "death" of Captain America. He's pretty much the worst thing to ever happen to the Marvel Universe. And now he's a drunk again. So while it's impossible to guess what he's being blamed for here, it's a safe bet that he's guilty.

Now pour another glass of that wine for Lucas Siegel. If these teasers continue into next week, he's gonna need it.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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