Following this morning's announcement of a Shazam movie starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Black Adam from New Line Cinema, a Warner Bros subsidiary, New Line president Toby Emmerich told Entertainment Weekly that the film will have "a sense of fun and a sense of humor." The promise flies in the face of everything the comic book media knows about DC's moviemaking plans, by which we mean of course the completely unsubstantiated rumor from Hitfix and Bad Ass Digest last week that every site on the internet reported as if it were totally real. According to the rumor, DC had instituted a company-wide "no jokes" policy, aiming to differentiate themselves from Marvel's brand by making all of their movies dark and gloomy with no sense of fun or humor. We spoke to Emmerich to find out why he would blatantly defy company policy like this.
The Outhouse: So the Shazam movie is going to be "fun?" What the fuck, man?
Toby Emmerich: You think it shouldn't be fun?
OH: No, it should be fun. But didn't DC decide that they were taking the fun out of their movies?
TE: They did? When?
OH: It was all over the place. Comics Alliance. Latino Review. The
reprehensible clickbait farm bastion of journalism known as ComicBook.com. Slashfilm. You get the picture. If the internet said it, it must be true.
TE: I never got any memo like that.
OH: Man, are you gonna be in trouble when DC finds out about this.
TE: I don't think so.
OH: Are you saying the rumor's not true?
TE: It would be idiotic if it were true.
OH: That's never stopped DC before.
TE: Good point. But still, they're not doing this. Sure, they like their movies to have a grim and gritty tone for the most part, but no humor at all? That's just silly, and probably impossible. It sounds like the kind of thing that's basically unprovable but mildly plausible that a rumormongering gossip website could make up and all the other rumormongering gossip websites could copy, with enough unique hits for everyone.
OH: You expect me to take your word for this?
TE: I am the guy in charge of the company making the movie.
OH: So I'm supposed to take the word of the guy running the company making the movie over a guy named McWeeney who writes about superhero movies on the internet and all the websites that blindly reposted his rumor without doing any kind of fact checking despite their own sanctimonious bleating about "real journalism?"
OH: Man, you are so fired. This is a gross violation of company policy.
TE: There's nothing I can say to convince you that rumor's not true, is there.
OH: Try telling us again.
TE: It's not true.
OH: Nope, still don't believe you.
Well, there you have it. New Line president Toby Emmerich is so out of the loop, he doesn't even know about his own company's strict "no fun" policy for comic book movies. What a moron!
Stay tuned to The Outhouse, one of the few websites who told you this rumor was probably ridiculous bullshit from the start.