Hey, dweebs! Yeah, I'm talking to you. And you'd better listen, or else! Marvel Comics unveiled some variant covers for October comics in honor of National Bullying Prevention Month and Blue Shirt Day World Day of Bullying Prevention, in conjunction with the STOMP Out Bullying organization. We've got them right here for you check out if you want.
*holds out variant covers, then lifts them up out of your reach when you try to grab them*
Ha ha ha! You think we're just gonna show these to you? Okay, fine, here you go...
*holds out variant covers, then pulls them away again before you can get them*
Hahahaha! Don't you ever learn? Okay, this time, we swear we're gonna let you see the covers.
*holds out variant covers*
Come on. Go ahead. We're done messing around. We promise.
*holds out variant covers, then quickly pulls them away when you reluctantly reach for them*
Ahahahahaha! Oh man, that never gets old! What, are your feelings hurt? Are you gonna cryyyy about it? Ha ha ha ha huuuuuccckkkk--!
*The Outhouse is lifted up by the back of its underpants by more popular website Comic Book Resources*
CBR: Are you picking on these readers again?
OH: What?! No!
CBR (*tugging underpants*): What was that?
OH: We mean no, sir! No sir!
CBR: You'd better not be. We're watching you...
*CBR yanks the Outhouse's underpants over its head, delivering the atomic wedgie, drops The Outhouse in the dirt, and backs away, pointing at the Outhouse menacingly*
Owww! Hey, what are you looking at! That's not funny!
*wipes tears from eyes*
Oh, okay, fine, here's the variants. Just tell CBR to back off, okay?!
*heads to StompOutBullying.org to take advantage of their free anti-bullying resources*
"Captain America" #25 variant by Kalman Andrasofszky
"Guardians of the Galaxy" #20 variant by Stephanie Hans
"Hulk" #7 variant by Pascal Campion
"Legendary Star-Lord" #4 variant by Paul Renaud
"Rocket Raccoon" #4 variant by Pascal Campion