Earlier today, CBR posted an EXCLUSIVE interview between cartoonist Yehudi Mercado and contributing writer Steve Morris about Mercado's new Archaia project "Rocket Salvage". While Morris and the rest of CBR's staff were celebrating the EXCLUSIVENESS of the interview, they failed to notice Outhouse Editor in Chief Christian Hoffer sneak in and steal several key quotes and nuggets of information from the interview, such as the fact that Imagine Artists Bachan will be illustrating the six issue miniseries.
"Did someone hear something?" said CBR EXCLUSIVE editor Albert Ching, upon hearing Hoffer snatch away the fact that the miniseries will star a famous space racer, Primo Rocket, and his two "clone-grown" children Beta and Zeta.
"My interview!" shouted Morris as he noticed that Hoffer had also pilfered the tidbit that the miniseries will also feature a Corgi/Jack Russell mixed dog named Rocko that's based off of Mercado's own dog Rocket. "It's been vandalized! Everything that makes it an EXCLUSIVE is gone! But how did the Outhouse even get into CBR's headquarters to steal the EXCLUSIVE bits of the interview?"
"They must have pretended to be a CBR staffer by using that CBR maraca we sent Hoffer last week," said CBR owner Jonah Weiland. "I knew that was a bad idea."
"Damn it, said Ching. "They even copied and pasted the two EXCLUSIVE covers Archaia gave us without even bothering to remove the watermarks! Look, they're right there, right under that fake quote of mine."
"Why would the Outhouse do such a thing?" cried Morris as he fell to the ground crying. "Why would they take relevant details like the Mercado quote about Rocket Salvage being an all-ages title and just post it in the middle of their article?"
Rocket Salvage is fun sci-fi in the vein of "Guardians of the Galaxy". It should appeal to kids, their older siblings, and their parents. At the heart of the story is the family of mechanics.
"Because they're bastards," said Weiland. "We're not going to let this stand. Albert, prepare the CBR yacht for launch. We're going to hunt those Outhousers down and..."
"Kill them?" said Ching hopefully.
"No," said Weiland. "Even worse. We're going to offer them a moderate amount of money to purchase their site and make it into one of our blogs. That way, we get their quality content and we don't have to deal with them mocking our use of EXCLUSIVES ever again."
For more information about Rocket Salvage, be sure to check out Steve's interview, which is still very good, even if it isn't exclusive anymore.