Written by Jude Terror
on Friday, October 17 2014 and posted in News with Benefits
You didn't think a little thing like death was gonna stop Ol' Wolvie from appearing in comic books, did you?
Thanks to a CBR EXCLUUUUSIVE report, The Outhouse has learned that Wolverine's corpse, which was coated in molten adamantium (surprisingly not a euphemism for Jason Aaron's sperm) at the end of the seminal (heh) Death of Wolverine #4, will appear in the first issue of The Wolverines, the ongoing weekly series starring Wolverine's pals and frenemies that will launch out of the Wolverine remembrance comic Logan Legacy. At least, he'll appear on the cover:
While it's somewhat disheartening that Wolverine will continue to appear regularly in comics after his death, we always look on the bright side of life here at The Outhouse, so let's think about some of the positive aspects of having an adamantium-coated, dead Wolverine in a comic instead of a live, uncoated one. First, the death and solid adamantium shell will make it extremely difficult for Wolverine to engage in hypocritically lecturing his peers about morality, killing Charles Xavier, and putting children in danger. Second, look how close Wolverine's son, Daken, is able to get to Wolverine without Wolverine stabbing or drowning him. That's a huge improvement in Wolverine's fatherly disposition. Finally, though every female character in the Marvel Universe may still have a crush on the ultimate Mary Sue character, his kneeling position will make it extremely difficult for them to sleep with him, which should cause all superheroes with red-headed girlfriends and wives to breathe a heavy sigh of relief.
Look for The Wolverines, by Wolverine-killing hero Charles Soule, Ray Fawkes, and Nick Bradshaw, in January.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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