First reported as a rumor on Bleeding Cool yesterday, as anyone within earshot of Rich Johnston already knows since he'll be shouting about it all day, Marvel Associate Editor Ellie Pyle will be leaving the House of Crossovers to travel West with DC Comics as a new Vertigo editor. Pyle was the editor on books like Captain Marvel, Daredevil, Nova, and the Outhouse beloved Fearless Defenders. So why is she leaving? The answers became self-evident during a press conference to announce the split:
Pyle: Over the last 4 years at Marvel, I have gotten to work with some of the best talent and editors and therefore on some of the best books. But I will be heading west in a few weeks to join Shelly Bond and her team as an Editor at Vertigo! Very excited for the great books to come.
Reporter: If you liked it at Marvel, why are you leaving?
Pyle: Well, it's... I don't want to... It's an uncomfortable work environment.
Reporter: In what way?
Pyle: Look, I know he doesn't mean it, but Axel Alonso is a huge fan of the movie Full Metal Jacket, and...
(Marvel Editor in Chief Axel Alonso is strolling by the press conference and notices Pyle. He approaches her, grinning.)
Pyle (under her breath): Oh come on...
Alonso: Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle?! Do you think I'm funny?!
Pyle (sighing): Sir. No, sir.
Alonso: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!
(Pyle, who was not smiling in the first place, frowns.)
Alonso: Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!
Pyle: Sir, I'm trying, sir.
Alonso: Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds. Exactly three fucking seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouce your eyeballs out and skull fuck you! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Pyle: Sir, I can't help it, sir.
Alonso: Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag!
(Alonso than slaps Pyle on the back and walks away, laughing. Pyle manages a flimsy smile in return.)
Pyle: Yeah, I know he's just quoting a movie, but it's really inappropriate for a work environment, and also kind of obnoxious. Though to be fair, it could be worse. The whole reason Ralph Macchio retired is because he was sick of Joe Quesada making him recite lines from the Karate Kid.
Reporter: And DC has guaranteed that this won't happen over there?
Pyle: Bob Harras has sworn he'll only quote the Andy Griffith Show, and that's a compromise I can live with.
The Outhouse wishes Ellie Pyle success at DC Comics, and we offer our condolences to Nick Lowe, who we're being told will be forced to wear a dress and a wig at future Marvel creative summits to keep the male to female attendee ration from falling below the usual 95%.