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Axel Alonso Ruins Secret Wars Launch Party by Throwing Pizzas

Written by Gavin Dillinger on Sunday, May 03 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

Axel Alonso Ruins Secret Wars Launch Party by Throwing Pizzas

The pizzas cost a dollar more than usual.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Editors, executives, and creators met Saturday night to celebrate the launch of Secret Wars. The men and G. Willow Wilson in attendance are said to have been enjoying themselves when Axel Alonso nonchalantly approached the refreshment tables, picked up several pizzas, and began violently smashing them together. According to witnesses, the event became highly disturbing when the executive hype machine began yelling, "Makin’ it great! Makin’ it fucking great!" which coincidentally happened to be both Alonso’s personal motto and the slogan of national fast food chain Pizza Hut from 1987 to 1993.

Superstar Marvel writer and man who can power a light bulb by sticking it in his mouth, “The Great One” Brian Bendis, was personally shocked by the outburst. "I can go along with a lot of things here at Marvel, but I was in disgust when this happened," adding, "The toppings just fell off!"

Brian Michael Bendis

Alonso was quickly escorted out of the room while screaming that  the pizzas would “never be the same again" and that “no one would want to miss this.” The party resumed amongst a disturbing tension, but shortly after being removed Alonso entered the room yelling, "The toppings! The toppings are on the pizzas!" Security quickly re-booted him. At this point those in attendance turned to writer Jonathan Hickman, who was long gone.

At press time, Alonso was reported to be really excited to work with Marvel’s sensitivity counselors, along with both its PR team and its janitorial team to clean up the mess.



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About the Author - Gavin D.

Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.

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