Tuesday, October 23, 2018 • Morning Edition • "For when life fails you."

Hasbro Wants You to Have "Summer Fun" With These Hulk Hands, If You Know What They Mean

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, May 20 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

Hasbro Wants You to Have

Nudge nudge. Say no more.

Source: Twitter

Blogger Chrissy Page was "compensated" by Hasbro to take part in something called a "Twitter Party" designed to promote Hasbro products by paying bloggers to give them away for free on social media. Free stuff is cool, and we're not complaining, but one of the tweets caught our eye and we thought it might be of interest to our readers:



Now, we know we can't be the only person who looked at this and immediately pictured what would go inside that "Gamma Grip." And yet, of the dozens of replies to the tweet, not a single person made reference to the obvious intended use of these fists. We guess Crissy Page has a higher class of follower than we do.

In any case, if you're looking to have some "Summer Fun," you could do worse than these. And since they come as a pair, you can invite a friend to enjoy it with you.


In case you still don't know what we mean, here's a photo:



What? What did you think we were talking about?!

Just kidding, we'd never advise anyone to drink a Coors Light.

They're totally for jerking off.


And hey, if handjobs from a gamma irradiated monster aren't your bag, you might prefer this Dinosaur Blowjob toy from Jurassic World:



Oh, Hasbro. And ladies, just because Hasbro are sexist pieces of shit who don't have the common decency to give away toys that can be used for female masturbation doesn't mean that geek culture doesn't have you covered. We've got something from the makers of the movie Alien that might pique your interest.

Okay folks, we've been inspired by this article and need to take a break now. Keep tuned into The Outhouse: your number one source for articles encouraging you to have sex with Toys.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!