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Marvel to Hold "Awkward Silence" Panel at SDCC

Written by Gavin D. on Tuesday, June 30 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

Marvel to Hold

Rumors suggest a Rich Johnston shaped dart board will also be in attendance.



Marvel announced plans this morning that several San Diego Comic Panels would be replaced by something called an "Awkward Silence Panel." While details remain foggy the panels seem to be taking the place of various Marvel Panels where title announcements were expected but would now be pointless because Bleeding Cool, which somehow has access to the embargoed press materials Marvel sends out to its media partners, keeps spoiling everything before Marvel gets a chance to announce it.

Most Marvel officials and creators have remained silent on the issue. When The Outhouse asked One Man Hype Machine Axel Alonso what to expect, he averted his gaze while enthusiastically pumping his fist. Brian Michael Bendis, however, did release a statement which reads, "Yeah... It'll be cool... You know... Soooo, you gonna come?"

Due to the secrecy of this event combined reports that Rich Johnston has disguised himself as a potted plant somewhere in Marvel HQ, Marvel staff are being asked to be "extra careful" when discussing upcoming plot points while intoxicated in hotel bars after conventions.

"Shhhhhhhhhh!" slurred a clearly wasted Jonathan Hickman as he put his arm around our shoulder and looked into our eyes uncomfortably as a large Kangaroo Paw Fern leaned toward us. "We wouldn't want the presh finding out about the new [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] with its [redacted ] [redacted] and a [redacted] from [redacted] [redacted]."

 "I fucking love you guys, man!" Hickman added before collapsing in a pool of his own vomit.

We rolled him over on his side and left as the fern typed furiously on its mobile phone.

 

UPDATE: We have just received word that Rich Johnston has prepared a string of articles about various sighs heard in the Marvel offices. One article will be released every fifteen minutes.





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About the Author - Gavin D.


Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.


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