Following up on past successful and just plain odd performances, Marvel Comics has announced a brand new round of hip hop variants for its books shipping in October. The new covers were revealed in a press conference hosted by the dopest executive MCs on the planet, Chief Creative Officer Joe Quesada and Editor in Chief Axel Alonso.
"My name's Joe Q and I'm here to say, we've got more variants for you today," rapped the 52-year-old Quesada as the crowd of assembled reporters bounced to the beat. "October is a month that we must respect, so here are some covers for you to check!"
"Check 'em out," added Alonso, gesticulating wildly. "Word is bond!"
"Marvel's got the flavor that you crave this fall," Quesada continued. "There are over 50 variant covers in all! I think you'll agree that I'm the man, when you see us pay homage to these classic classic jams!"
"He's the man!" Alonso Chimed in. "He's the man! He's so bad he should be in detention!"
Quesada and Alonso then showed off a sampling of the variants, which included an homage to Dr. Dre's The Chronic featuring Doctor Strange, a Ms Marvel variant in the style of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and Howard the Duck gracing an otherwise faithful reproduction of Old Dirty Bastard's Return to the 36 Chambers.
Juan Do homages Dr. Dre's "The Chronic"
Jenny Frison homages "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" by Lauryn Hill
Juan Doe homages Ol' Dirty Bastard's "Return to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version"
Quesada and Alonso ran through the list of variants and artists, demonstrating a clear mastery of the art of Hip Hop. We won't reproduce those verses here, but trust us, they were magnificent.
"50 Cent just declared his wack ass bankrupt," continued Alonso, showing off an Iron Man variant, "But when it comes to financial security Tony Stark has enough!"
Brian Stelfreeze homages 50 Cent's "Get Rich or Die Tryin'"
Through dope beats and fly rhymes, Alonso and Quesada explained that Marvel and Hip Hop have had an ongoing dialog for years, and that the variants will "shine a spotlight on the seamless relationship between those two unique forces."
"People say our creators are mostly white, and if you look at the statistics that's technically right," explained Alonso in a particularly skillful flow. "But just because we got diversity complications, don't mean we're not down for cultural appropriations!"
"Cash rules everything around me," Quesada pointed out. "Axel, get the money! Dollar dollar bill y'all!"
At that point, the record screeched to a halt and the beat dropped out.
"No, seriously, get the money," Quesada insisted when Alonso just stood there with his arms folded. "We need to show the shareholders a big profit growth this quarter."
Mike Del Mundo homages Wu-Tang Clan's Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)"
"Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh so check these variants then check yourself," rapped Quesada, jumping right back into things as the beat kicked back in. "You're gonna want all of them on your shelf! And if you don't, homie, well that's okay! They're not returnable anyway!"
"The retailers are stuck with 'em after they buy 'em, dawg!" Alonso punctuated. "Direct market represent!"
At that point, Diamond Comics Distributors Founder and CEO Steve Geppi, or possibly a hologram version of him, took to the stage and began shaking his booty.
"Marvel Marvel Marvel, can't you see? Somehow, your words just hypnotize me," Geppi sang. "And I just love your retailer incentive variant program ways, $4.99 comics are here to stay!"
"To the tick tock and we don't stop," Alonso noted in approval.
"To the tick tick and we don't quit," Quesada agreed.
"Actually, I think we're done here," Alonso interrupted. "I've got a 4:30 meeting."
Look for these and more hip hop variant covers on the shelves this October.
Phil Noto homages Tyler, the Creator's "Wolf"
Dave Johnson's homages Eric B. and Rakim's "Paid in Full"
Mahmud Asrar homages A$AP Rocky's "Long. Live. A$AP."
Sanford Green homages De La Soul's "3 Feet High and Rising"
Mark Brooks homages The Notorious B.I.G.'s "Ready to Die"
Mike Del Mundo homages A Tribe Called Quest's "Midnight Marauders"