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REPORT: Secret Wars Delays Blamed on Jon Stewart Heel Turn

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, August 24 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

REPORT: Secret Wars Delays Blamed on Jon Stewart Heel Turn

Thanks to Stewart, the Secret Wars finale may come out after the first Marvel reboot issues hit stores.

Source: Scoops Central

According to a new report from dirt sheet Bleeding Cool, Secret Wars #6, originally planned for an early August release date, has been pushed back again, this time to September 16. Though previous delays were blamed on a dog eating Esad Ribic's artwork, the latest problem is reportedly a result of a heel turn from former Daily Show host and professional wrestler Jon Stewart.

"We were just about to turn the pages over to the printer," explained Marvel Executive Vice President of Butthurt Tumblr Posts Tom Brevoort, "when, out of nowhere, Jon Stewart came running into the office with a steel chair."

According to Brevoort, Stewart's run-in made little sense, especially with the completion of one of the biggest event comics in Marvel's history approaching. "Everyone in the office was kind of confused," Brevoort told The Outhouse. "What was Jon Stewart doing here? He didn't belong in this office."

Making matters even more difficult, Stewart telegraphed his betrayal for what seemed like minutes as the crowd of office workers looked on. "Stewart had the chair, and he looked at Tom Brevoort, who was holding the papers, and we thought he was going to hit him with the chair and take them, but then he acted like he was going to take the papers and helpfully give them to the courier to bring to the print shop, but then he ended up hitting Tom anyway," revealed Marvel Editor Sana Amanat. "Then he took the pages and ran off."

"Ow," said Tom Brevoort following the incident. Brevoort needed to hold a bag of frozen peas against his head for a full hour afterward to prevent swelling. He should technically have kept them there longer, but by that time, the peas had thawed and Brevoort ate them.


Pictured: A Secret Wars reader is disappointed by the delays.

As a result of Stewart's interference, the delays could end up pushing the Secret Wars finale, due out the same day in October as Marvel's not-a-reboot All-New All-Different Marvel NOW reboot comics, even further back, which would be on par with past DC Comics fuck-ups in terms of letting a super-mega-crossover event screw up your entire publishing line. However, Stewart stealing the Secret Wars #6 pages was not the most surprising thing to happen that day, as shortly afterward, Brian Bendis choked out Cullen Bunn in a fight over the office copy machine despite the fact that Bendis had clearly tapped out a few seconds earlier, though the referee didn't see it happen. We'll keep you updated.

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