While wandering through the DC Comics offices looking for a bathroom after an altercation at a Wendy's, The Outhousers' very own hunk, Ali Jaffery, heard Dan Didio's plans for adding more "meat and potatoes" to the comics line as per request from higher ups after a 2 million dollar loss in revenue this year while standing behind a potted plant. Jaffery recorded the conversation, which has been transcribed below for your reading pleasure:
Dan Didio: I gotta make two million dollars and soon, Jimmy, soon! Say, you dont suppose you could lend me some of that X-Men money you have lying around, could ya?
Jim Lee: Purrrrrrrrrrr...
Dan: Ah, look at me. Talking to a lazy cat. You don't know what I'm saying, you cutie, you!
Dan *slapping himself in the forehead*: Come on, ya dang Didingus! Think!... Hmm, the comics are already printed. I gotta get more 'meat and potatoes' in these comics if I'm gunna appease the elder gods. Variant covers? No, its too late to get those out. We need time to put pressure on local comic shops to order too many of those. Maybe... Maybe if we- Quick, grab a pen and paper, Jimmy!
Dan: Hahaha, you never like drawing. Let's see here, How can we add 'meat' AND 'potatoes' to these covers?
Dan: There we go! Aaaaaand, some more here....
Bob Harras: Hey, hows the 'meat and potatoes' thing goin- *Sniff* *Sniff*Sniff* Do you smell asparagus?
Dan: No time, Bobby H-Rock! I have a plan!
Bob: Is it Wendy's? Because there's a fire truck and 3 animal control vans outside. I think something bad happene-
Dan: Stop, shut up, and put paper in the copier.
Bob: Oh, are we going to try and get your butt to be the face of Dick Grayson's butt again by plastering the office with your cheeks? Because we can't afford another lawsuit after Jim scratched Scott Lobdell's grandma after the company picni-
Dan: Oh My God! Do you ever shut up? Make like an H-Rock and Bobby pin those lips. We got copies to make. We're gunna cut out and tape these to as many covers as we can, and I want you to send out PR to all the news sites, and CBR. Let them know that anyone who didn't get the altered covers can print them out to make them more starchy themselves. *Sniff* See, now you got me smelling asparagus.
Below is a copy of what Ali Jaffery was able to secure after washing his hands.
Don't those look so much better? That lost revenue will be recovered by the end of the month! And here's the best part: if you have DC books at home that someone "Batgirled" too much, you can print out Dan Didio's official variant artwork below, cut along the dotted lines, and scotch tape it to the front on your own! Then take a photo and tweet at us and DC Comics, so they know we're all doing our part to help them out.