Revealing a new strategy that's sure to stave off the impending collapse of the industry for a couple more months, Marvel Comics announced today that Jonathan Hickman and Esad Ribic will add another issue to the already delayed and then delayed some more Secret Wars super-mega-crossover event. Marvel claims Secret Wars #9 will hit stores in December, months after the post-Secret Wars All-New All-Different Marvel NOW comics have hit shelves. However, based on past delays, it's more likely the comic will actually come out late next spring, when the Marvel Universe is gearing up for the next universe-shattering blockbuster event comic that will set up the next round of #1 issue relaunches.
"Looking on the bright side, this could actually help sales," explained Marvel Editor in Chief Axel Alonso in the press release. "Everyone knows that sales are higher during super-mega-crossover events, so if our events are so delayed that they end up running constantly, all year long, with no break in-between, sales will never go down."
Alonso also stated that fans don't like stories that run for more than four or five issues without being interrupted by the need to include meaningless, ancillary tie-ins to an event comic, so everyone wins in this scenario. "Hickman and Ribic's inability to complete a project on time or within the parameters initially proposed which set the schedule for our entire publishing line is actually a positive fain for everyone, and I'm super excited about it!" he declared, smiling. "I always look on the bright side of the life."
Alonso then performed the entire song "Always Look in the Bright Side of Life" from Monty Python's Life of Brian, which was an impressive feat for a press release. Look for updates here on The Outhouse in the coming months to find out when Secret Wars #9 is pushed back to April.
SECRET WARS #9
Written by JONATHAN HICKMAN
Art by ESAD RIBIC
Cover by ALEX ROSS
Unless those guys can't get their shit together, in which case Cullen Bunn and Humberto Ramos are always available!
In the aftermath of Secret Wars #8, half of the stuff that was originally supposed to happen in there now happens here because we're really bad at planning! Don't miss the final - we hope - issue of the multiverse-rebooting super-mega-crossover event that is, we swear, totally not a reboot, as the Marvel Universe will never be the same again!!! (but it's still not a reboot)
On Sale in December!