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BREAKING: Eisner Award Winning Website Spotlights Monkey That Looks Like Wolverine

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, September 24 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

BREAKING: Eisner Award Winning Website Spotlights Monkey That Looks Like Wolverine

This is why we can never compete with the likes of CBR.

Source: CBR

Proving once again why they're at the top of the comic book media food chain, Eisner Award winning website Comic Book Resources published a story this morning about a monkey that looks like deceased Marvel Comics character Wolverine. Though the monkey was originally located by UK news site Metro, CBR was quick to bring the news to American readers with the headline: "Holy snikt! There's a monkey that looks just like Wolverine." To show that they're not exaggerating, the popular website posted the following side by side comparison of Wolverine and the monkey:


We can't even tell which is which!!!


Preserving their reputation as a reliable source of legitimate comic book news deserving of multiple journalism awards, CBR goes on to note that the monkey has "every element of Wolverine's classic look, from the color scheme and claws to the bushy sideburns and pointy 'mask' tips." It is unknown at this time whether the monkey frequently lectures other monkeys about their moral choices while murdering its own children and frequently going into blood-soaked "beserker rages," but we assume CBR will get to the bottom of that via investigative journalism and tough questions in their upcoming weekly executive interview with the monkey: "Monkey in Charge." Ace CBR reporter Albert Ching is reportedly learning sign language so he can communicate more effectively with the monkey about topics of interest such as which banana the monkey is most excited about in December's banana solicits and how the monkey will respond to criticism that it is "just so darn cute."

At press time, rival website Newsarama was reportedly planning a weeklong running feature of Top Five lists about animals that look like comic book characters, while Bleeding Cool reports that Marvel plans to sneak into the zoo and replace the monkey with a raccoon that looks exactly like Inhumans leader Black Bolt. We'll keep you updated.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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