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Game of Thrones Coloring Book Almost Complete

Written by Gavin D. on Thursday, October 15 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

Game of Thrones Coloring Book Almost Complete

Because nothing says "tale of incestuous rape and violence" like crayons.

Source: Entertainment Weekly

It was announced today that Game of Thrones will be receiving its own color book. Fans of wanton slaughter and graphic rape scenes were delighted by the news. "I bought a new pack of Crayola last year," said Game of Thrones fan and coloring enthusiast Patty Jernigan. Unfortunately for Patty, she may be waiting a little longer as George R. R. Martin may not finish coloring the cover in time.



Martin, who has long delayed the final book of his series A Song of Fire and Ice, has moved the release of the coloring book back twice already. "I want to have the cover fully colored," said the author, "but as you can see I haven't had time to finish it yet. Maybe I can get to it Sunday after I castrate my family as my servants perform an orgy for no reason whatsoever. It is hard finding the time to shade the drapes Permanent Giranium Lake and blend it with an English Vermillion to provide the appearance of a natural fade in the Middle Yellow sunlight which fades to a Canary as it leaves its source. Harder yet to tint the waters Cornflower at the ripples in a way which is not lost beneath the Midnight Blue of the rushing waters. For if the waters are not dark enough, whoever could expect the flowers to be Vivid Violet and the dandelions to be Goldenrod, for we all know that Dandelion is really just a shade of piss which looks nothing like its namesake. Certainly not against the Maximum Green grass of the fields which ornate the bottoms of Fuzzy Wuzzy brown tree trunks."

At this point we informed Mr. Martin that what he was describing was not the cover of the coloring book, to which he replied, "Well, posh, I suppose it will be six more months at last."

Super fans like the aforementioned Jernigan are disappointed, but understanding of the delay. "It's not ideal, but I would rather he take his time and deliver the best possible ending than have him rush and perhaps use Yellow-Orange where Maximum Yellow Red would be better suited."

The initial release of the book was set for October 27th, but in light of Martin's realization it may not be out till late 2016.


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About the Author - Gavin D.

Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.

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