New York—Who killed comic journalism? That's the question police are asking this morning after a construction crew hired to renovate part of the Jacob Javits center stumbled upon a grizzly scene. In a long-abandoned section of the conference arena workers stumbled upon a false wall that had been quickly constructed to seal off the doors to forgotten conference room 'C-73' located in the basement of the arena. Behind the sealed-off wall was a padlocked door and after construction workers cut the chains, a shocking scene was found. Seating under a panel that read "New York Comic Con 2010" the bodies of several missing comic book journalists were discovered.
Authorities were quick to arrive on the scene, blocking from off the area to curious onlookers. After an initial sweep by forensics, it was confirmed that the seven bodies sitting at the panel at the back of the arena were in fact long-lost reporters from several now-defunct comic book websites. A program guide found on the table revealed the reporters had gathered for a panel to discuss 'Maintaining Professional Standards in Reporting' but had found a devious trap waiting for them instead.
Missing since New York Comic Con 2010 bodies identified so far include: John Novak and Calvin Miller (two men often called the Woodward and Bernstein of comic book investigative journalism), Marcus Thomas, an influential blogger who had made several enemies in the industry for challenging the credibility of anonymous sources, and even Brit La Cherie, the French journalist who often mocked the degree of focus news sites spent covering 'the big two' over indie comic books. It appears that all of the missing reporters discovered had one thing in common - an intense dedication to reporting facts and refusal to compromise stories for clicks.
Appearing at a press conference later in the morning, NYC Commissioner William J. Bratton told reporters that all initial signs pointed to foul play. "It appears these journalists were invited to appear at a panel to discuss how to professionally report comic book news without falling prey to lame click-bait articles," he grimaced while wiping a tear form his eye. "Unfortunately, once inside the panel room the doors were locked and some monster built a false wall over the doorway to keep them from ever being found."
The discovery sent shockwaves through the industry with many comic book websites tweeting words of condolences and/or immediately mentioning they had an alibi. While police have several suspects, no arrests have been made. However Commissioner Bratton encouraged anyone with information on the death of comic book journalistic integrity to call the tip line at 1-800-BAD-CRIME.
The Outhousers are saddened by this terrible news and also insulted to have not been invited to the panel in the first place. We are offering an award of seventeen dollars (roughly our entire budget for the month of October) to anyone who can provide information as to who killed comic book journalism.
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