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REPORT: Marvel and China to Team Up to Create Actual Chinese Superhero

Written by MrBlack on Tuesday, October 27 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

REPORT: Marvel and China to Team Up to Create Actual Chinese Superhero

Reports that the company would create comics for the Chinese market were vastly underestimating their plans.

The Outhouse reported last week that Marvel plans to "create Chinese heroes and stories" in an attempt to tap into the emerging Chinese market. This website, perhaps naively, assumed that Marvel planned to introduce more Chinese characters into their superhero comics, but the truth has turned out to be more shocking.

As we also previously reported, scientists recently discovered that an unidentified rocket-shaped object will collide with Earth on November 14, off the coast of Sri Lanka. They believe that the object contains the last son of a dead planet, who is expected to have powers previously unheard of on our world. Although the object was believed to be tied to another Superman reboot, the Outhouse has learned that Marvel Editor-In-Chief, Alex Alonso, plans to intercept the object and deliver it to the People's Republic of China, in an attempt to create an actual Chinese superhero.

Earlier today, Alex Alonso commandeered the Comic Book Resources yacht, after subduing CBR Managing Editor and admitted cannibal Albert Ching.

"Alex had just finished delivering his latest 'Alex-In-Charge' column and eating hot dogs laced with human remains, and I turned around to place it on my desk," said Ching. "I heard Alex yell 'Judo chop!' and the next thing I remember is waking up three hours later slumped on my desk, and the keys to the yacht missing."

Ching reported that Alonso's latest column details his plan to use the yacht to salvage the rocket once it lands in the Indian Ocean. Alonso will then convey the precious cargo to Beijing, where the Communist government plans to raise the child to be the world's first actual superhero.

"Ant-Man made $42 million in its opening weekend, but imagine the market penetration we'll get with a real-life superhero!" said Alonso in Ching's upcoming column. "Plus, China's agreed to let us use him to blow up Twentieth Century Fox so we can finally get the Fantastic Four film rights back."

As of press time, Alonso had stalled the yacht in the San Diego Bay. The People's Republic of China has not yet issued a statement.


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