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BREAKING: GOP Looks To Comics Media For Moderators of Next “Softball” Debate

Written by GHERU on Tuesday, November 03 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

BREAKING: GOP Looks To Comics Media For Moderators of Next “Softball” Debate

The “Grand Old Party” is asking each site to provide their Top Ten inoffensive questions for review.


Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

After last week's controversial Republican Presidential Debate hosted and moderated by CNBC high ranking members of the Republican Party have decided to assert more control over the future debates through hard negotiations regarding the types of questions allowed and the format of the debate itself. To that end, members of the newly created Committee Responsible for Innovative, Bold, Approved, and Benevolent Inquires (CRI BABI) has decided to look outside what is normally considered the main stream media (MSM) in order to find hosts willing to moderate the next debate to the GOP's precise specifications.

Well-placed sources with access to the CRI BABI's records have told The Outhouse that both Ben Carson and Donald Trump's campaigns have suggested Newsarama and/or CBR as alternatives to the more traditional options available to them through television news networks.

We spoke with Barry Bennett, Ben Carson's campaign manager:

None of this would be necessary if the Lame Stream Media wouldn't continue to ask unfair "gotcha" questions of the candidates during their commercials...I mean debates. It is not the job of the moderators to ask candidates how what they say in their campaign speeches would work if elected just as it's not the purpose of a debate to educate the public as to those promises and polices. With that in mind, we have reached out to award winning journalistic organizations that may not normally cover politics in order to find one that can host future debates.

Donald Trump's Political Director Michael Glassner told The Outhouse that "Although we differ on a great many things, we here at the Trump campaign agree that it is not the place of the moderators to draw any attention to those differences." Mr. Glassner continued by telling The Outhouse that if it wasn't for a particularly energetic supporter they only identify as Arachnid Bob they would never have discovered the softball specialists Newsarama and CBR:

When we began to read the news stories and interviews published by these sites it was all we could do to not fall on our knees and give thanks to G-d* for showing us the light. Imagine a string of debates where the hardest question asked would be "do you like the book you wrote?"

The Outhouse was able to get our hands on some of the proposed questions:

Do you like good things?

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very excited, and 10 being very very very excited, how excited are you about the job you plan to do as president?

What is your favorite color?

Batman; great hero or greatest hero?

According to many media sources, traditional and new, there is a history of sexual misconduct embedded in the comic book community. This history includes the harassment (and worse) of fans, creators, and editors. As President, what will you do to ensure that those who continue to shed light on these indiscretions are forced to keep silent?

Would you deport Superman?

Is blue real?

Do you like my dress?

Which of our staff writers would be a good fit for a future cabinet position? Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Your campaign has recently been the subject of widespread criticism. Is there a particularly poorly written critique you'd like to debunk in order to discredit all of the more thorough ones?

*stares longingly into candidate's eyes for 45 seconds*

Would you be willing to give us unfettered access to your organization if we give you ad space on our site and we promise to never ask you a question you didn't pre-approve?

Neither Newsarama nor the Eisner award winning CBR responded to The Outhousers' request for comments.

 

 

* - According to sources; praying is not allowed inside the Trump campaign due to the fact that it implies that there is an entity out there more powerful than the candidate.





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About the Author - GHERU


RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).

 


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