Sunday, December 16, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "All nerds welcome. Bring your own toilet paper."

Vatican Denies Stealing Box of Blast Furnace Advance Copies from Ryan Browne's House

Written by Jude "P. Priest" Terror on Friday, December 11 2015 and posted in News with Benefits

Vatican Denies Stealing Box of Blast Furnace Advance Copies from Ryan Browne's House

The advance copies were signed for by a "P. Priest" when FedEx attempted to deliver them to creator Ryan Browne.

Source: Twitter

Officials in Vatican City today denied accusations that the Catholic Church sent agents to cartoonist Ryan Browne's house to steal advance copies of the comic book Blast Furnace, according to Reuters. The denials came in response to reports from Browne on Twitter that an unidentified person known only as "P. Priest" signed for the package of books from Fed Ex. The name is one of several aliases believed to be used by Church agents to engage in top secret assassination, espionage, and comic book stealing operations.

"These accusations are totally ridiculous!" said Archbishop Carroll O'Connor, which was somewhat odd, since no one had directly accused the Church of being involved at that time. "The Catholic Church would not use its vast wealth and resources to engage in petty theft, even for a highly anticipated comic book that Pope Francis is really looking forward to."

Blast Furnace: Recreational Thief, a 280 page color graphic novel that was funded on Kickstarter with more than $34,000, is set to be delivered to backers soon. Proof copies were shipped to Browne, who tweeted, "Hey awesome! Someone who isn't me signed for the Blast Furnace advanced copies and stole them. Thanks for nothing, @FedEx," adding in another tweet, "it was just the advance copies to make sure everything came out right. It was signed for by someone named P. Priest." Blast Furnace was described by Browne in an interview with some crappy comic book website as an improv comic, "based on the idea of Scott McCloud's 24 hour comic, but done over a long period of time."

Though the Vatican denies having anything to do with the heist, Pope Francis is a known lover of comic books like Ms. Marvel, a critic of variant covers and other stunt-publishing gimmicks, and a skilled Magic: The Gathering player, so it's not out of the question that he would be interested in obtaining early copies of Blast Furnace. However, the pontiff himself took to the podium in St. Peter's Square to deny the claims at this morning's ceremonies, stating, "Blast Furnace is an amazing comic book, but stealing is against God's will, and so I would never do it." Asked how he could know the comic was amazing if he hadn't read it, Pope Francis quickly changed the subject, launching into a bizarre homily about ducks with guns, the point of which was that he believed someone was trying to frame him to cover up their own involvement in the affair.

The Outhouse will keep readers updated on the whereabouts of Ryan Browne's stolen comics, and we hope that he's able to obtain new copies and get the comic out to readers who are not the avatars of God on Earth soon. It really is a great comic, especially the part abou... we mean, it's sure to be a really good book that we definitely haven't read yet.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!