The latest interview with Batman writer and birthday boy Scott Snyder is headlined "SNYDER: BATMAN #48 'Culmination' Of His BRUCE WAYNE Story," a hook which would normally pull readers in to see what has the popular clickbait website so hyped it had to randomly capitalize four separate words. However, the headline, and the interview itself, in which Snyder promises, "This issue is the one where we pull out all the stops," subtly reveals a major error by the veteran writer and schoolteacher: in comics, you're not supposed to "pull out all the stops" on an ordinary issue like #48. That is meant to be saved for "special" issues, like #25s, #50s, and rebooted #1s.
"When I first saw the script, and realized how exciting it was, and how all of the storylines we'd been working on for so long were coming to fruition, I thought to myself, 'Scott, what are you thinking, brother?!'" said series artist Greg Capullo, flexing his 24 inch pythons sadly, to The Outhouse. "We've got a big 50th issue celebration coming up in just two months, brother, and then a 52nd issue, which at DC is even more important, and then we'll probably reboot again since no numbers exist above #52. Brother, this is a disaster, brother."
But Snyder, in the Newsarama interview, seems to care little for the importance of milestone issues, telling the website, "For me, this is the keystone of the arc," and later adding, "For me, this issue really is the kind of culmination of everything we've been building to for Bruce."
Snyder's insistence on having important things happen in an issue with a number as dull as "48" could cause the entire fabric of the comic book industry to unravel, according to one expert in the field, DeVry University Professor of Comic Book Numerology, Professor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms.
"Back in the early days of comics, before anyone really had this whole thing figured out, creative teams tried to make every issue important and fulfilling for the reader," Professor Puffinbottoms explained, gesticulating wildly and referencing several complex diagrams on his chalkboard. "But thanks to expert marketing research, we know that people only care about issue with important numbers, because those are the issues likely to have the most variant covers. Everything in between is basically just filler."
Puffinbottoms added that several top selling comics, such as Amazing Spider-Man and The Walking Dead, don't even put new content in issues that aren't milestones, instead simply reprinting a bunch of old Broom-Hilda newspaper strips inside the covers. "No one has ever noticed," Puffinbottoms shockingly revealed. "This has been going on for years. Every 25 issues or so, [Walking Dead writer Robert] Kirkman will brutally kill off a fan favorite character or three, and the fans just eat it up, completely oblivious to the fact that the previous 24 issues featured nothing but the loosely connected misadventures of a man-crazy, cigar-smoking, beer-guzzling, 1,500-year-old witch and her motley crew of friends"
According to Puffinbottoms, DC might be able to correct Snyder's error in judgement by hastily announcing a large number of variant covers and trying to trick readers into thinking "48" is an important number too, or by simply misnumbering the comic as #50 and hoping nobody notices they publish another one two months later.
Snyder, for his part, seemed unconcerned, blissfully unconcerned with the fact that his comic book career was self-destructing in front of everyone, telling Newsarama, "The fact that the readers have been so generous to us and let us do a story that's so far left of center, and kept the book selling during that time, this is where all the pieces come together. So you'll start to get the most fun stuff — like your giant monsters and robots — and you're also going to get this kind of stuff on the park bench."
We hope those closest to Snyder are able to pull him out of this spiral of self-destruction before it's too late. And we wish him a happy birthday.