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Double Take Print Deadline in Jeopardy as Oregon Militia Standoff Continues

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, January 27 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Double Take Print Deadline in Jeopardy as Oregon Militia Standoff Continues

The company relies on paper produced from trees from the wildlife refuge.

Outhouse advertising sponsor and comic book publisher Double Take has found itself staring in the face of a nearly impossible deadline today as an ongoing standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon continues despite the arrest of several militia leaders. The company, which is currently running a Kickstarter for pre-orders of its 3rd issue Super Packs, needs to send those issue to print today. However, the company relies on paper made exclusively from trees cut down in the wildlife refuge, creating a problem for the House That Jemas Built and leading to panic amongst Double Take staff.

"Bill [Jemas] has very specific tastes when it comes to comic book publishing," said Dedication writer Matthew Summo, speaking about the crisis. "First of all, if a comic book doesn't have 'Ultimate' somewhere in the title, he's not interested. Second of all, the comics can only be printed on paper made from the natural habitats of potentially endangered species of birds and woodland creatures. Thirdly, the ink used to print the comics must come from the blood of newborn babies sacrificed at the unholy alter of The Snake God Glycon."

"The comics are part of a line called 'Ultimate Night of the Living Dead,' set in the universe of the classic 1960s film, so that part's a check," Summo continued. "And I personally kidnapped and murdered several children last night - praise Glycon - so we're all set on that front. But this Oregon standoff is a real head-scratcher."

According to sources, Jemas attempted to resolve the crisis by sending armed federal agents to confront and arrest militia leader Amond "Al" Bundy and several colleagues in his "No Ma'am" organization, but the operation turned deadly when two of the militia leaders refused to surrender, resulting in a deadly shootout. It is unclear whether the remaining militia members will continue to occupy the refuge, calling into question Double Take's ability to obtain the supplies needed to make its comics.

"Why can't we just print the things on regular god damned paper?!" one frustrated, anonymous source inside Double Take whose name is Gabe Yocum told The Outhouse. "I get that Bill is very particular, but we've got a deadline to meet!"

At press time, the beleaguered publisher was considering mailing free copies of their previous two Super Packs to the remaining militia members in hopes of convincing them to surrender and allow Double Take to resume illegally harvesting trees from the area, but sources tell The Outhouse the company is concerned that the patriots will actually become more embedded with so much entertaining and reasonably priced reading material to keep them busy, as well as a morale boost due to their victory in the NFL conference finals on Sunday. We'll keep you updated, but in the meantime, check out Double Take's Kickstarter to pre-order these third issues, assuming the conflict will eventually be resolved and the company can actually print the comics.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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