Despite all the "details" released on DC's #Rebirth not-a-reboot reboot event today, we're still confused over just what is happening. We know that all of DC's titles are being canceled and restarted with #1 issues, except when they're not, in the case of Action and Detective comics, which are returning to their pre-Nu52 numbering scheme, and in the case of some of the few Nu52 books that were worth reading, like Black Canary, Grayson, and Midnighter, which are not coming back at all. We know that they're reducing the price of their monthly titles to $2.99, except when they're not, in the case of 17 titles that will now be released twice a month, making the monthly price $5.98 and putting added stress on the artists and probably lowering the quality of the output. We know that DC is hoping to rejuvenate lagging sales by offering an entry point for new readers, except when they're not, as Geoff Johns said in an interview that Rebirth is for fans who own a lot of "long boxes of DC comics" and that new readers "won't be too lost," leaving many fans wondering if that's code for DC abandoning all attempts at diversity. (And aren't there only, like, 60,000 comic book readers, tops, anyway? Isn't that putting a low ceiling on your audience?) We know that they're trying to bring new talent into DC, except when we don't, because they haven't announced creative teams for any of the 32 books they've told us about. We have no idea whether the Nu52 continuity is going away, the Old52 continuity is coming back, or something... in between, which means the "reboot" will be as confusing and half-hearted as the last one. Wait, did we say reboot? Sorry. We forgot, it's "not a reboot."
The fact is, the whole thing is pretty confusing, and that doesn't bode well for the actual execution of this line-wide publishing initiative. DC #Rebirth could end up being the best thing ever. Or it could be terrible. But there's one lesson we can definitely take away from this: whether or not you have the information to back it up, it's always better to reset the numbers and hope the pieces all magically fall into place later. And so, in honor of DC's #Rebirth, which is not a reboot, and yet, is almost certainly a reboot, we're rebirthing the Has DC Done Something Stupid Today counter as well!
What does that mean? Well, don't worry. For fans of past DC stupidity, all of DC's old stupid events will still exist. You see? Clearly not a reboot. But we are resetting the counter. Call it a "jumping on point." And here's the best part: as a special bonus, before the ZERO day, we're publishing a special #REBIRTH day on the counter. Because why have one day of sales-grabbing click-baiting gimmick goodness when we can milk it for two?! Or fuck it, maybe all weekend! More is always better. Except, of course, when it's not.
And so, we're proud to say, for the first time ever: it has been REBIRTH days since DC Comics did something stupid. Now drink!