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Entire Marvel PR Staff to Be Fired as Civil War 2 Teaser Released Non-EXXXCLUSIVELY

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, March 07 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Entire Marvel PR Staff to Be Fired as Civil War 2 Teaser Released Non-EXXXCLUSIVELY

The screw-up goes against everything comic book journalism is supposed to stand for.

Source: non-EXXXCLUSIVELY via Newsarama

Tempers behind the scenes at Marvel Comics were running hot on Monday as the entire company reeled from the revelation that a teaser image for their upcoming Civil War 2 super-mega-crossover event was released to the internet without being branded with the EXXXCLUSIVE logo of a major comic book news site. Medusa joins Thor, Black Panther, Beak, D-ManPaste Pot PeteBovaElf With a GunCaptain MarvelTintinSilk SpektreMichael Keaton's BatmanJim Lee, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and Dark Phoenix in the event, which is driven entirely by Marvel's editorial department and will FEATURE THE DEATH OF A CHARACTER ZOMG! The teaser, featuring Inhumans character Medusa and an unknown character who may be the Inhuman who spurs half of Marvel's heroes to turn to fascism to punish characters for crimes they may commit in the future, can be seen below:


"This is totally unacceptable," said Marvel Editor in Chief Axel Alonso as he personally signed the termination notices for more than twenty employees in the company's marketing department. "This teaser had value as part of the quid pro quo payola agreement we have with several large comic book websites wherein we provide them with EXXXCLUSIVE access to promotional materials in exchange for fawning fluff coverage and reviews graded on a scale of 4-5 stars. Instead, it was just released to the internet willy nilly with no promise of a continued incestuous relationship with the press."

Though Axel is sure that websites like CBR, Newsarama, and especially - whose Editor in Chief is a former Marvel PR guy - will continue to do their bidding without question, saying "this *is* comics journalism after all," he decided it was best to fire everyone involve and start over with a new PR staff that understands the value of keeping the comic book media dependent on Marvel through EXXXCLUSIVE content that brings web hits to increase the value of the full page background advertisements also purchased by Marvel.

At press time, all of the fired Marvel PR staff had already been snapped up as reporters by various comic book websites.

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