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Bleeding Cool Demonstrates Total Lack of Understanding of All-New All-Different Marvel Universe

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, March 17 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Bleeding Cool Demonstrates Total Lack of Understanding of All-New All-Different Marvel Universe

Lead rumormonger Rich Johnston made a complete fool of himself while attempting challenge "The Great One" Brian Bendis on England's geography.


Source: Bleeding Cool

Yesterday, Bleeding Cool rumormonger Rich Johnston published an article about Marvel's International Iron Man #1 that, frankly, was kind of embarrassing. No, not because of the usual lack of proofreading, but because Johnston, a veritable comics journalism dinosaur, demonstrated that he's completely out of touch with the modern comic book industry. Johnston's lack of understanding came to the forefront when he challenged superstar Marvel writer "The Great One" Brian Bendis over scenes in the new comic.

In his article, Johnston talked about some things that appeared to change in Iron Man's history. For instance, Tony Stark, who was once known for going to MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a town from the video game Fallout 4, now apparently went to college at Cambridge University in England. Johnston took issue with the fact that not only had Iron Man apparently switched alma maters, but that Bendis appeared to believe that Cambridge University is located in London, not Cambridge, due to the overwhelming presence of West Ham fans in a pub and the fact that Stark and a lady friend leave the pub near the school and enter the South Bank of London.

Bendis responded to Johnston on Twitter, saying:

Screen_Shot_2016-03-17_at_9.29.14_AM.png

However, Johnston contested, Cambridge's dorms are not in London, but in Cambridge, which Johnston showed via Google maps is not exactly right next door:

Stage-3-Map-600x348.jpg

Johnston seemed to imply that "The Great One" failed to do even the smallest amount of research into the history of Iron Man, the location of Cambridge University, the difference between Cambridge, England and Cambridge, Massachusetts, or even rudimentary geography, all information which could easily be googled. And Johnston was sure that Bendis knew what Google was, because he mentioned it in another panel:

IMG_0077-600x753.jpg

However, as Johnston points out, the scene, taking place in Tony's past in 1996, predates Google by two years, and predates the use of the phrase "Google" as a verb for looking someone up on the search engine by several more years.

On the surface, it would seem like Johnston is correct. However, the truth is that Rich Johnston simply doesn't understand how comic book not-a-reboots work, and is thinking about things in terms of the pre-Secret Wars Marvel Universe, not the infinitely better All-New All-Different Not-A-Reboot Post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe that exists today. For more on this, we spoke to renowned University of Phoenix (that's in Poughkeepsie, New York) professor and expert in the field of comic book retcons, Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms.

"Think of it like two pizzas, each with a bunch of different toppings," Professor Puffinbottoms explained, holding two steaming hot pizzas in the air, one in each hand, and waving them around threateningly "One pizza has toppings such as MIT, a renowned technological school that it makes sense for Tony Stark to have gone to. The other pizza has Cambridge University in Cambridge, England."

"If you take those pizzas and kind of... SMASH them together," Puffinbottoms demonstrated, slapping the pizzas together and sending molten cheese, hot tomato sauce, various toppings splattering around the room, "You get the post-Secret Wars Marvel Universe."

"Over here, you have Cambridge University, which Tony Stark now goes to," said Puffinbottoms, gesturing to a mound of cheese stuck to a wall. He then picked up a battered anchovy and smushed it into the chesse. "And here you have Tony Stark, who now went to this school, and always went to this school."

Professor Puffinbottoms then picked up the entire wad of cheese and anchovy and tossed it into a puddle of sauce on his desk. "And now, Cambridge University is in London," he said, grabbing a handful of sausages and sprinkling them over the pile. "And here are your West Ham fans."

"And finally, here, you have Google," Puffinbottoms added, scooping up some cherry peppers and tossing them into his mouth. "Invented in 1936, around the same time all people started speaking in colloquial Bendisisms like '...the hell?!' Yum!"

"So as you can clearly see, every Bendis comic ever written now retroactively makes total sense," Puffinbottoms finished, licking grease off his fingers, "Brian Bendis knew exactly what he was talking about, and it's Rich Johnston who is the fool."

We're glad we could help clear that up. Now send us our No-Prize, Bendis.





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About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.


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