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Joe Russo Refers to Civil War as Love Story, Thousands of Shippers Simultaneously Faint

Written by Gavin D. on Wednesday, March 23 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Joe Russo Refers to Civil War as Love Story, Thousands of Shippers Simultaneously Faint

Thousands of Tumblr accounts with unconscious posters.


Source: Empire

Artisinal coffee shops across the country were filled with unconscious bodies yesterday afternoon.  While the exact cause is unknown, experts believe there may be a correlation between this and Joe Russo referring to Captain America: Civil War as "a love story." To quote the director himself,

What's fascinating about the Cap-Bucky story as well is it's a love story.

According to authorities all victims of this mass fainting identified themselves as "shippers."

"Shippers are fans of pop culture who believe that two characters are implicitly interested in each other despite there being no explicit statement," explained University of Pheonix professor Doctor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms who is chair of the university's Fan-Fiction and Speculatory Literature Department. "Many in the shipping community can be excited by little more than passing glances in a film. So to have a director refer to two characters as a 'love story' could in theory trigger a rush of dopamine so strong that it overwhelms the brain. This rush could feasibly cause temporary unconsciousness."

While no victims were seriously injured, Empire has added the clause "he is talking about the fraternal kind" in an attempt to ease the dopamine rush. Russo himself does talk about the brotherly aspects of the relationship, but he is fighting an uphill battle as even Marvel UK is denying brotherly aspects of the relationship.

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Editor's note: Gavin Dillinger was found passed out, face down on his keyboard, having apparently experienced a rush of dopamine after viewing the preceding Tweet. We have published the article that was left unfinished on his screen. Captain America: Civil War is in theaters this May. Captain America is in the Winter Soldier in many fan fictions across the internet right now.





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About the Author - Gavin D.


Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.


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