Tuesday, November 20, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "At least we're not Multiversity!"


Written by Ali Jaffery the Hunk on Saturday, March 26 2016 and posted in News with Benefits


More like 'Day Boo', yaknowwhatimsayin? hahaha :(

Source: Regal Cinemas

I went into this thinking, a nice change of pace, that I would not have enough to dissect in a 2 and a half hour film to stretch 30 posts. I no longer have fear. This movie is batshit insane and I want to you to take my hand as I take a walk through the same film differently over and over again for 30 days in a row.


Because they offered it and I want to know why.

The following post carries minimum plot spoilers for the film.

This is Day 2.


Nothing is more fascinating than seeing this movie juxtapose its subtleties with its inherent bombastic personality. The title is shown 2 seconds in passing with applaudable, misplaced reservation. Then Martha Wayne gets shot in the face! Pop, pop!

A Kryptonian ship from Man of Steel slices through buildings like your exboyfriend's 'samurai' sword from the mall. This follows with Bruce Wayne walking in a cloud of smoke with a horse cutting through the set.

Lois Lane's notebook interacting with a future plot point is executed smoothly. Then everyone shoots everyone and Superman fucking plows a man through several brick walls.

Subtleties and loudness work when built upon themselves respectively. Small moments are lost when each is spaced between explosions and gunshot. There is no build. There is no structure. There is no pace. What we have here is a film that wants immediate payoffs to every small, inane action it takes by the next scene, rinse and repeat. This film kept bouncing between being slow, soft moments and loud, jarring motions so much, I thought I was watching my own sex tape. Join me tomorrow to hear about my third viewing of Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice.




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