If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that their ain't no party like a comic book reboot party, because a comic book reboot party don't stop. We mean that seriously - comics are in a constant state of perpetual reboot. So when we first heard that DC Comics would allow retailers who met certain mathematical equations with their DC Universe Rebirth #1 orders to open their stores early for a midnight release party on May 24th, we knew that things were about to crazy up in here.
Think about the type of person who needs to read the latest comics super-mega-crossover event, and needs to read it RIGHT FUCKING NOW. They need to read this soulless corporate marketing product so badly that they will leave their house at midnight just to get their hands on one early. Then think about dozens of these people roaming the streets of your town at night and finally converging on the hottest after hours destination in Everywhere, USA - the comic book shop!
Well, if you thought that was going to be an overwhelmingly raucous time, then wait until you hear what happened next. It seems that Marvel, according to the latest report from saucy British heartthrob and lead rumormonger at Bleeding Cool, Rich Johnston, is planning to one-up DC by releasing all of their comics at midnight on that day as well. And unlike DC, which tied the special release parties to order numbers, Marvel is just letting whoever the fuck wants to sell whatever the fuck Marvel Comics they want at midnight, no questions asked.
In your face, DC! Tell us how Tom Brevoort's ass tastes!*
*our guess: like fried onions and muenster cheese
So now what we've got is a good, old fashioned Mexican standoff, defined here as a standoff which Donald Trump wants to make pay for a very great wall. All of the publishers releasing comics on May 24th are going to need to respond to Marvel's aggressive posturing, and either allow their comics to be released at midnight early too, or risk missing out on the potential sales boost from such an event.
And if the event goes well, this is fucking comics, so you know we'll start doing this like every other week to celebrate gimmicked milestones and special event comics as quickly as Marvel and DC can churn, churn, churn them out.
Will midnight comic book release parties be the new "thing," along with six dollar comics and R-rated superhero movies? It seems like the only logical solution. Because if my days as a crack junkie taught me anything, it's that if a little bit of something is good, lots and lots of it is always way better.