Tuesday, October 17, 2017 • Midnight Edition • "The CBR of comic book journalism."

Son of a-- Civil War 2 FCBD Leaks Online

Written by Gavin D. on Monday, April 11 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Son of a-- Civil War 2 FCBD Leaks Online

And it is pretty much what you expect.


Source: 4Chan

NOTE: This article has been updated to reflect the fact the prelude issue for Civil War 2 that leaked is actually Civil War FCBD, and not Civil War #0, when we learned that those were two different things. Apparently, Civil War #2 requires two prelude issues.

A couple months ago a user on 4Chan popped up, claiming to know the plot to Civil War 2: LOOK AT THE SHINY COVERS. The rumors seemed like something Marvel would do for a super-mega crossover event, but there was no source. Now we can judge those rumors, because Civil War 2 #0 Civil War FCBD #1 has leaked online. So before we go further:

 

SPOILERS!

 

 

 

The images shared on the cyber truck stop glory-hole known as 4Chan show that pretty much all of these rumors are true. The story consists of typical Bendis dialogue in which characters speak uncharacteristically, and stuff happens for the sake of the crossover event.

The story opens with Rhodey and Captain Marvel kissing. They are dating again, because War Machine's death has to be emotional for any of this to make sense (It still doesn't). The Inhuman Ulysses then shows up. Through painful exposition we are told he can see the future. Ulysses sees Thanos visiting Earth. Knowing he can see the future, Captain Marvel arranges for just a few heroes to fight the Mad Titan, because it's not like he's ever defeated the entirety of the Marvel Universe before.

In an awkward cut to the middle of nowhere, Thanos appears with three Liefeldian guns. The five or six heroes ambush, and, I kid you not, Captain Marvel declares, "Thanos, you are under arrest!" As you know, Captain Marvel is a stickler for the American judicial system when the entirety of the galaxy is regularly threatened by an extraterrestrial nihilistic psychopath.

The heroes fight and one stray missile from War Machine hits She Hulk. ONE! She-Hulk's last words? "Son of a-" Yep. She-Hulk goes down making Red Foreman proud. OK, she's not quite dead yet, but close enough to trust know the rumors are fairly accurate. It's the perfect sequel to "not like this." In shock that he may have killed She-Hulk, War Machine stands, mouth agape. Thanos then runs a hand through the armor, something that he is apparently capable of but has never done before.

The rest of the heroes beat up Thanos with their newfound aggression, and that is the end of the #0 issue. 

Earlier today Bendis said that Civil War 2 would copy none of the beats from Civil War one, but this story starts with a substantial catastrophe which leaves the heroes deeply scarred. This is the same opening beat of Civil War 1! The opening is deeply contrived and poorly executed. The art is nice though... when Captain Marvel isn't crying in five directions.


 

BREAKING UPDATE WOOWOOWOOWOO ALERT!!!

In a Twitter exchange, writer "The Great One" Brian Bendis denied the comic had leaked online:

Screen_Shot_2016-04-11_at_11.30.07_PM.png

Screen_Shot_2016-04-11_at_11.29.59_PM.png

You'll just have to decide for yourself. 





Loading...

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:



Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Gavin D.


Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.


More articles from Gavin D.
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!