Tuesday, August 14, 2018 • Morning Edition • "Comics: we give a crap!"

Marvel "Death of X" Variants to Be Laced With Toxic Eye Irritant

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, May 09 2016 and posted in News with Benefits


It'll still be better than the 3Dnado.

Source: The Beat

According to a report from The Beat, Marvel's new line of variant covers for their universe-changing Death of X event will utilize an interesting new technique to distinguish themselves from all the other variant covers for super-mega-crossover events. Apparently, each of the twenty comics featuring these variant covers (which may or may not actually be part of the event itself - who the hell knows, and does it even matter anymore?) will be printed with special ink laced with non-lethal doses of toxic chemicals which can cause severe irritation to the eyes, lungs, and nervous system.

"The end is near. There won't be a dry eye in the house," reads Marvel press release, which we understand is currently being investigated by the FBI as a potential terrorist threat. "Get a front row seat to the demise of the X-Men this July with these twenty Death of X Variants, available only at your local comic shop!"

Readers are advised to avoid all contact with the variants, not only because of potential permanent vision loss, but also because they'll be really overpriced and contain a forgettable, editorially-driven event story that will be rendered meaningless when its events are retconned in the next super-mega-crossover event.

Here's the list of titles, and a few of the cover images (though these digital images do not contain any toxins, it's probably best not to look directly at them, just in case).

  • All-New X-Men #11
  • All-New, All-Different Avengers #12
  • Amazing Spider-Man #15
  • Black Panther #4
  • Captain America: Steve Rogers #3
  • Daredevil #9
  • Deadpool #15
  • Doctor Strange #10
  • Extraordinary X-Men #12
  • Guardians of the Galaxy #10
  • Invincible Iron Man #11
  • Mighty Thor #9
  • New Avengers #13
  • Old Man Logan #8
  • Power Man and Iron Fist #6
  • Spider-Man #6
  • The Astonishing Ant-Man #10
  • Uncanny Avengers #11
  • Uncanny Inhumans #12
  • Uncanny X-Men #10




Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!