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DC Rebirth Leaks All Over Internet, Will Take Years to Get Rid of the Stink

Written by Gavin D. on Saturday, May 21 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

DC Rebirth Leaks All Over Internet, Will Take Years to Get Rid of the Stink

It's everything we imagined it would be, and more.


Source: /r/comicbooks

Just like Marvel’s ridiculous Civil War 2 FCBD offering, DC's Rebirth has leaked, this time through a post on /r/comicbooks by a user calling themselves SuperAe16. While the full story has not been leaked, the information we were given does reveal some substantial moments. So if you were planning on clawing yours eyes out in frustration on Wednesday instead of today, then now is your chance to turn away.

Reddit.jpg

SPOILERS

Here's a quote from the Reddit post, which has since been deleted:

Spoilers.... They're coming.... You've been warned.... Wally West is back. There are three Jokers. The Original JSA is back. Watchman are now part of the DCU and are responsible for the loss of time??? The last part is a mind fuck.

 

While we don’t have a storyline, beyond the previously rumored DC IS GOING TO KILL THE PRESIDENT, we do have these specific reveals.

Naturally, other redditors demanded proof. The redditor in question provided this photograph of the book:

Pressed for more proof, and against claims that the previous photo could be photoshopped, SuperAe16 dropped this bombshell:

“We’re being watched.” Get it? Score! Johns does it again!

Indeed that is the world’s greatest detective holding the pin formerly worn by The Comedian in Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' critically acclaimed graphic novel Watchmen. The redditor also provided proof for Wally West:

Through the glares of what one can only presume is seven different lamps shining on one book, you can faintly see the words “I am Wally West" in the narration box. So not only is Wally West in it, but he is narrating the whole book.

DC promised 1 Death (THE PRESIDENT!!!), 3 major returns (Wally West, Joker(s)?, and an unknown), plus a big secret (Eddie Berganza is fired Watchmen)...

And if you're thinking, "Couldn't this be a really elaborate hoax?" Rich Johnston, lead rumormonger of comics' foremost rumormongering website, Bleeding Cool, whose images we're embedding on this page so he can deal with the DMCA notices, says he "verified it with his sources, 'oi did" before adding "you 'eard it 'ere first, pip pip," and explaining:

So I asked around and was told that, yes, they are genuine and that the comic states that Doctor Manhattan was directly responsible for the creation of the New 52.

 

Let that sink in for a moment. Doctor Manhattan created the Nu52.

DoctorDidio.jpg

What was the other option? Bob Newhart realizes it was all a dream? When the main twist of your super-mega-crossover line-wide reboot event seems like something we would make up for a laugh, things are not looking too good for the few remaining DC fans who were, against all logic, holding out hope that *this* reboot would be the one that suddenly made a DC Comics run by Dan Didio, Jim Lee, Geoff "Jeff" Johns, and Bob Harras tolerable. But those guys can't even take responsibility for their grimdark idiocy; they want to blame it all on Alan Moore.

The main spoilers were also confirmed by sites with legitimate review copies, panicking as they watched their EXXXCLUSIVE payola content swirl down the drain because of the leak.

And if you're thinking, "but wait, couldn't the characters from Watchmen in the DC Universe be interesting because it's new," let us remind you, the last time DC desecrated that classic, it resulted in this:

Toaster.jpg

Yes, that's a Watchmen-branded toaster, which toasts the design from Rorschach's mask onto a piece of bread. But even that didn't reek of desperation as much as this does, leaving us with no choice. Because if you think about it... if Doctor Manhattan created the Nu52 after Watchmen... then that would make the Nu52... the SEQUEL to Watchmen.

Doomsday.jpg




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About the Author - Gavin D.


Gavin Dillinger exists in a constant state of restlessness as he runs between two jobs and spends every spare moment writing articles or scripts. He has also perfected the art of being simultaneously dead tired and jacked on coffee, and is the best-selling author of When is the Right Age to Tell Your Highway It's Adopted. Gavin graduated Cum Laude from MTSU and should probably get a real job. You can follow him on Twitter or see a random thought on tumblr once every three five months.


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