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Munchkinland Rejoices as Roman Reigns Suspended from WWE

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, June 21 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Munchkinland Rejoices as Roman Reigns Suspended from WWE

Somewhere over the Reignbow, the diminutive residents of Oz rejoiced upon hearing that the wrestler was suspended for 30 days for violating the company's wellness policy.

Source: WWE

Cheerful song broke out in the fictional country of Munchkinland upon hearing the news that Roman Reigns would be suspended from WWE for 30 days for violating the company's wellness policy. "Ding dong, the witch is dead! The witch is dead! The witch is dead!" sang many of the country's residents in spontaneous celebration. The Oz region had long been terrorized by Roman Reigns' Cena-esque booking, which had been likened to being attacked by a flock of flying monkeys.

The news was first announced by the Good Witch Glinda, who is presumably a second rate dirt sheet writer who just reprints news copied from Dave Meltzer. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," said the witch, "and meet the young wrestler who fell from a star. He fell from the sky. He fell very far. Suspension, he says, is the name of the star."

"Suspension, she says, is the name of the star," affirmed the Munchkins, referring to the wellness policy violation.

"As Coroner, I thoroughly examined [Roman Reigns' push]," said Munchkinland's resident coroner, Chris Hyatte. "And Reigns' reign over the WWE main event is not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead."

"Hooray!" said the assembled crowd.

The fanbase began to celebrate and parade throughout the city, introducing themselves as they went. "We represent the Lollipop Guild," said one group, referring to the WWE's large following of normally agreeable children who had themselves even turned on Reigns due to the nonstop, incessant shoving of the character down fans' throats as an unbeatable monster.

"We represent the Lullaby League," said another group, the tired fans who complained about every single episode of Monday Night RAW during Reigns' push while continuing to watch it religiously and pay $9.99 for the WWE Network.

The career of Roman Reigns then departed Munchkinland in the company of Kevin Dunn, a straw man who lacked a brain, Triple H, a tin man without a heart, and Vince McMahon, a lion who had no courage to evolve his booking style.

Munchkinland had long complained about WWE's need to make Reigns look strong at the expense of every other member of the roster and despite consistent booing from fans in attendance at WWE events, which had been described as "like a nightmare."

"But it wasn't a dream," explained one fan. "It was a real wrasslin' show. And you and you and you...and you were there, watching it too. But you couldn't have been could you? No, this was a real truly terrible show and I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful from the upper midcard -- but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was 'I want to see Roman Reigns gone from the title scene, even though, honestly, his recent tweener work has been pretty decent,' and they suspended him, probably for juicing! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, he's gone! Gone. And this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not going to watch a Roman Reigns match ever, ever again, or at least for thirty days. Because I love you all. And... Oh Outhousers! There's no place like home!"


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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