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REVEALED: Comic Book Writer's Tweets Are Dems' Secret Weapon to Win Election

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, July 26 2016 and posted in News with Benefits
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REVEALED: Comic Book Writer's Tweets Are Dems' Secret Weapon to Win Election

Marvel Comics scribe Nick Spencer may singlehandedly decide the election with his Twitter account.



As speakers such as Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and a particularly inspired Michelle Obama addressed American voters from the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia on Monday night, it was a the voice of one speaker who wasn't even at the convention which may end up being the most important one in the election. Nick Spencer, writer of Marvel comic books such as Captain America: The Nazi One, Captain America: The One Who's Not a Nazi, and Batman (probably - we ran out of research budget), delivered his own rousing speech on Twitter - and continues delivering it, and delivering it, and delivering it - and it's his efforts that Democrats are hoping will win Hillary Clinton the presidency.

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Michelle Obama may have struck a powerful emotional chord that resonated with voters when she said, "I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves. And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women, playing with their dogs on the White House lawn." But it was Spencer's boiling down of complex political issues the president will face into 140 character nuggets that is sure to cinch a victory in November, according to key staffers in the Clinton campaign.

Of course, the First Lady also said in her speech, "The issues the president faces are not black and white, and cannot be boiled down to 140 characters," but she was obviously referring to the tweets of Republican nominee and first supervillain to have a freak spray tan accident as a central part of his origin story, Donald Trump, and not Spencer's tweets, which are profound, compelling, and above all else, useful.

Sources inside the Clinton camp tell The Outhouse that it isn't just Spencer's mastery of policy that attracts voters to Clinton, but, perhaps more importantly, his calming, unifying tone and ability to reach out to undecided voters and coax them under the Clinton umbrella.

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It's with those qualities in mind, along with Spencer's terrifying, superhuman ability to tweet about Clinton, and politics in general, around the clock, nonstop for months at a time, showing absolutely no sign of even slowing down, even after the election is over, that the Democratic Party is counting on Spencer to continue his onslaught of verbal wisdom until Clinton is in the White House and Donald Trump has, preferably, been placed inside a comically large cannon and fired into outer space. Luckily for them, Spencer seemingly has no intention of stopping, even to sleep or use the bathroom, and his followers may never tire of listening to him.

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That's why Clinton aides reportedly say that it isn't the ringing endorsements of progressive icon Elizabeth Warren, rival Bernie Sanders himself, or even the memorable speech of Michelle Obama which spoke to Americans about the core principles that make our country great, that can heal the wounds of the divisive primary elections. Rather, all eyes are on Nick Spencer, whose vital social media commentary may decide the future of human civilization.

Naturally, Spencer is willing to face this responsibility head on, put his talents to good use, and do everything in his power - as long as it can be done from a smartphone app - to stop the singular menace that could tear this great country apart: neo-fascist aspiring dictator Donald Trump Bernie Bros.

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Spencer, master orator, didn't rely only rebuking the 'Bros. He also appealed to them with disarming condescension:

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"I was feeling disillusioned with the political process after seeing those email leaks exposing Democratic party corruption," one undecided voter who was, until Monday, not yet ready to put aside primary difference and fully support Clinton against Trump, told The Outhouse. "I recognize that Donald Trump could be the next Hitler, but I don't want to support the broken two party political monopoly, and was considering voting for Jill Stein in protest. But then, Nick Spencer called me a moron on Twitter, and I realized that I need to do the right thing and vote for Hillary."

It's a story that's being repeated all over the country, wherever voters are able to read Spencer's tweets. If Spencer can't convince people to vote for Hillary Clinton, it's difficult to imagine who or what could.

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Yes, it's very difficult to imagine. Spencer may be the Democratic party's only hope!

So as you tune into the convention on TV over the next few days, and throughout the rest of the campaign, if you ever feel your spirit wavering, just remember Nick Spencer. Advocate. Activist. Pundit. Philosopher. Comic Book Writer, we guess. Relentless in both his devotion and his tweeting, Spencer may be the unsung hero of our country during its darkest hour. And while Tim Kaine may one day, thanks to him, be the Vice President of the United States, Nick Spencer is the #VP of America's heart.





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