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EXXXCLUSIVE: Here's the Rest of Those Stupid Champions Teasers, So Just Stop It Already

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, August 25 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

EXXXCLUSIVE: Here's the Rest of Those Stupid Champions Teasers, So Just Stop It Already

We liberate the remaining teasers so you don't have to be in debt to Marvel anymore, comic book media!

Earlier this week, Marvel released a teaser featuring Viv, one of the characters in its upcoming Champions comic that Marvel wants to turn into a franchise they can spin six double-shipping books a month out of for $4.99 a piece. The teaser showed Viv on a white background with the phrase "Change the World," which we pointed out was ironic, don't ya think, since Marvel has been using the same teaser technique, unchanged, for at least the last decade.


When a teaser the next day showed Totally Awesome Hulk on the same background with the same slogan, we mocked it once more.


Making the whole thing even lazier and more uninspired, each of the images is photoshopped out of a single, earlier teaser showing the whole Champions team, so this isn't even new artwork, and Marvel already announced Champions, so there's not even going to be a big reveal at the end of this.


So when yet another teaser was released today, this time with Nova, and it was once again immediately published by every comic book website in existence, it was the final straw for us.


The sole purpose of this teasers is to get comic book websites to post a daily advertisement for Marvel's comic, and that's completely transparent, but the thing is, comic book websites are doing this anyway. And to those websites, I have a serious question: why?

These teasers aren't interesting, they don't reveal new artwork, they don't reveal new information, and they aren't leading up to the reveal of a book because that already happened. They don't even get a new slogan every day. It's just "change the world, change the world, change the world." They literally serve no purpose to your readers, so why are you posting them? Is it just because they came in an email from Marvel, and you reflexively post anything they send you without question?

Did you even consider the option that you could say no? That you could determine that this photoshopped advertisement that Marvel isn't paying you to post is really of no interest to your readers, and you have no obligation to publish it just because Marvel wants you to and everyone else is?

I'm assuming the answer is no. Which leaves us with no other option than to put a stop to the madness early. So we spent all afternoon photoshopping the rest of the characters that haven't appeared in a "Change the World" teaser yet out of that same piece of artwork, and created the rest of the teasers that Marvel will be releasing over the next few days.

And they're revealed here, EXXXCLUSIVELY, only on The Outhousers. Go ahead and take them, repost them, we don't even want credit. We just want to not see this teaser crap from Marvel stretch out into next week. Let's call it a day and make Marvel work harder to earn your fawning fluff coverage, okay?

Check out the rest of the EXXXCLUSIVE teasers below:




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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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