Seeking to undo the damage done by the direct market, DC is returning to an old technology to reach masses of young people: the View-Master. The View-Master was a 1960s toy based on 1930s technology which children could put up to their eyes to view stereoscopic slides of popular cartoon characters. This reporter has an aversion to them since one time when I was a child and I found an old View-Master in the attic of my grandmother's house, put it up to my eyes, and immediately had an allergic reaction to the dust, causing my eyes to puff up and become red and itchy for days, which, ironically, is the same reaction many people have to simply reading a modern DC comic book.
DC plans to release the popular 1990s cartoon Batman: The Animated Series on the device. Each episode will consist of tens of thousands of reels, each featuring seven individual frames from the cartoon which must be clicked through quickly to give the illusion of motion.
"We're really excited about the potential for using 80-year-old technology to bring a 20-year-old cartoon to today's kids," said DC executive Geoff "Jeff" Johns at a press conferencing unveiling the plans. Johns then handed a questionable-looking View-Master containing one of the Batman: The Animated Series slides to a small child to demonstrate.
"What the hell is this?" asked the child, examining the archaic device. "Where do you plug it in to charge? It doesn't do anything, Mr. Johns."
"You put it up to your eyes, and you can see a picture," Johns explained. "Then you pull a lever, and you can see another one. You can do that seven times! Yay!"
"This sucks," said the child, pulling out an iPhone. "Im gonna play Pokemon."
"Here, just try it," said Johns impatiently, brushing the phone away and forcing the View-Master to the child's eyes.
"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" the child screamed as a severe allergic reaction to 50-year-old dust particles broke out immediately all over his face. "I'm dying!"
"Get me out of here!" said Johns as angry parents rushed the stage. "Code red! Code red!"
As Johns was evacuated from the press conference by grabbing the landing gear of a waiting helicopter, he shouted to reporters that though the View-Master itself could be purchased at garage sales and flea markets for less than the price of comic book, each episode would cost $5000 and would soon be available at popular retailers such as Circus World, KB Toys, Lionel Kiddie City, and F.A.O. Schwarz.