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Rosetta Spacecraft Deliberately Plows Into Surface of Comet After Reading Latest Issue of Civil War 2

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, September 30 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Rosetta Spacecraft Deliberately Plows Into Surface of Comet After Reading Latest Issue of Civil War 2

The probe reportedly preferred to end its existence rather than put up with any more of Marvel's crap.

Source: USA Today

In the latest instance of public outcry toward Marvel's current super-mega-crossover event comic, European space probe Rosetta plunged into the surface of a comet at precisely 6:39AM Friday, ending its twelve year mission and ceasing all communication with Earth forever. According to a report from USA Today, Rosetta became frustrated with Civil War 2 for multiple reasons, including but not limited to an unoriginal and unsatisfying story, repeated delays, too many tie-ins, a low value to cost ratio, more delays, transparent cash-grabbery, the character assassination of Carol Danvers, and seriously, what is up with all the delays. Along with photos of the comet's surface and environmental analysis, Rosetta reportedly sent one final message to the European Space Agency before crashing into comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko, which read simply, "Fuck you, Bendis!"

Scientists are already hard at work studying the data sent from Rosetta before its untimely suicide, looking into determining why the so-called House of Ideas seems incapable of using quality, engaging storytelling to sell comics instead of cheap gimmicks, shock deaths, and #1 issue reboots, but it could take decades and potentially hundreds more super-mega-crossover events before the data comes to fruition and anyone learns any kind of lesson from any of this. We'll keep you updated, at least until we find a nice comet with no event comics to settle down on for an eternity or so.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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