Thursday, June 4, 2020 • R.I.P. Edition • Shit happens here.

BREAKING: Diamond Booth Finally Arrives at New York Comic Con, Ready for Business

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, October 13 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

BREAKING: Diamond Booth Finally Arrives at New York Comic Con, Ready for Business

Unfortunately, several interns also arrived damaged.

New York - The exhibition booth for American comics distribution monopoly Diamond arrived at the Javits Center Thursday, ready for New York Comic Con four days after the convention ended. That the booth arrived so late was a surprise to everyone involved, as the company reportedly utilized the same methods it does to ship it's comics for getting the booth and all exhibition materials to the convention. In addition to missing the convention entirely, several interns arrived with moderate to severe damage from the packing and shipping process, with one intern looking like she had been purposely rolled around in a large pile of dirt, and another with visible tire tracks on the back of his shirt.

"Whoopsie!" read a letter sent this morning to New York Comic Con attendees, who had long since gone home, assuring them that Diamond remains committed to quality and that mint condition replacement interns would arrive within the next four to six weeks.  "We encourage anyone dissatisfied with Diamond's performance to start using a different comics distribution monopoly."

"Bwahaha!" the letter continued. "Sincerely, Diamond Comics Distributors."

Walking into a quiet convention hall and setting up the booth in the middle of an empty floor, Diamond staffers did their best to pretend everything was going exactly as planned as others attempted to reattach a severed foot to a distraught intern. Meanwhile, across the street at the Every Other Retail Business Ever Convention, convention staff were seen painlessly shipping damaged interns back to suppliers with no issues whatsoever. We'll keep you posted.

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author of said content. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!