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Munchkinland Rejoices As Dan Slott Leaves Twitter

Written by Tim Midura on Tuesday, November 15 2016 and posted in News with Benefits

Munchkinland Rejoices As Dan Slott Leaves Twitter

Slott blames pro-Trump supporters.

Source: Facebook

Cheerful song broke out in the fictional country of Munchkinland upon hearing the news that Dan Slott would be leaving Twitter. "Ding dong, the witch is dead! The witch is dead! The witch is dead!" sang many of the country's residents in spontaneous celebration. The Oz region had long been terrorized by Dan Slott's tweets, which had been likened to being attacked by a flock of flying monkeys.

The news was first announced by Twitter users, confused by a lack of shouting on Twitter. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," said the users, "and see for yourself that one of the trolls has gone afar."

"One of the trolls has gone afar" affirmed the Munchkins, referring to famed keyboard cowboy Dan Slott, whose Twitter abuse took away from his comic book writing time, though some might argue that it wouldn't have helped him anyway. Slott had taken to shaming pro-Trump Twitter users, more than he was writing scripts.

"As Proctologist, I thoroughly examined [the hole left in his absence]," said Munchkinland's resident proctologist, Jude Terror. "And Slott's reign of terror, not to be confused with the terror that is myself, is finally over."

"Hooray!" said the assembled crowd.

The fanbase began to celebrate and parade Slott throughout the city, introducing themselves as they went. "We represent the Lollipop Guild," said one group, referring to the large amount of teenage Spider-Man fans.

"We represent the Lullaby League," said another group, the tired fans who suffered verbal attacks against their candidate of choice.

Slott then departed Munchkinland in the company of Axel Alonso, a straw man who lacked a brain, Joe Quesada, a tin man without a heart, and John Romita Jr., a lion who had no courage to evolve his drawing style.

Munchkinland had long complained about Slott's treatment of Twitter users like Nick Hanover, which had been described as "like a nightmare."

"But it wasn't a dream," explained one reader. "He was a real man. And you and you and you...and you were there, feeding his trolling too. But you couldn't have been could you? No, this was a real truly terrible Twitter user and I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but, well most of it wasn't very nice -- but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was 'I want to see him spend more time on his scripts,' and they told him to write more! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, he's gone! Gone. And this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not going to read a Dan Slott book ever, ever again. Because I love you all. And... Oh, Gavin Dillinger! There's no place like home!"



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About the Author - Tim Midura

Born in the frozen tundra of Massachusetts, Tim Midura has long possessed a love for comic books and records. After stealing the beard of Zeus and inventing the pizza bagel, a much more heavily tattooed and bearded Tim Midura has finally settled in San Diego. He's the world's first comics journalist who doesn't want to become a comics writer. Find him on twitter, facebook or by email.

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