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#MarvelLogic: Retailers Will Gladly Pre-Order $35 “Classified” Trade

Written by GHERU on Wednesday, January 04 2017 and posted in News with Benefits
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#MarvelLogic: Retailers Will Gladly Pre-Order  “Classified” Trade

The “CLASSIFIED PRELUDE” TPB promises to set up Marvel’s “next TOP SECRET event!”


Source: CBR

Acting on the belief that retailers aren't completely sick of their shit yet, Marvel's solicitations for March 2017 includes a $35 trade with absolutely no available information. From CBR's unpaid "MARCH 2017" commercial (with ads):

CLASSIFIED-PRELUDE.jpg

CLASSIFIED PRELUDE TPB

Written by CLASSIFIED Penciled by CLASSIFIED Cover by CLASSIFIED Find out what's in store for the Marvel Universe in this definitive prelude to the next TOP SECRET event! You won't want to miss a moment of this major story — and it all starts here! Collecting CLASSIFIED. 248 PGS./Rated T+ ...$34.99

Look at this bullshit.

MarvelLogic: Here, pre-order this thirty-five fucking dollar trade. It's really important set up for the next event.

Competent Retailer: What does it collect?

MarvelLogic: CLASSIFIED!

CR: Theme?

MarvelLogic: CLASSIFIED!

CR: "Family" of characters? X-Men?

MarvelLogic: Bitch, did I stutter? CLASSIFIED!

CR: At least tell us who is writing the event, so we can at least try and hype this product!

MarvelLogic: GIMMIE A C! GIMMIE A L! ... GIMMIE A A!...

CR: I get it

MarvelLogic: GIMMIE A S! GIMMIE ANOTHER S...

CR: I will throat punch you.

MarvelLogic: CLASSIFIED!

---Fun With Numbers Interlude---
From the above solicit: 248 PGS./...$34.99

  • 34.99 / 248 = ~14 cents per page
    • vs 32 PGS for a $3.99 single issue =~12 cents per page
  • 248 pages / 32 pages = 7.75 single issue comic books at $4.51 an issue
    • Allowing for page deviations for reasons 248 pages could easily hold 8 comics at $4.37 per issue or 7 comics and peripheries such as cover galleries and notes at almost $5 an issue with useless gifts with purchases.

---

CR: So, the chances are my customers will be paying more for this collection than they would have if they had bought the comics as they were coming out. You won't tell us if these are new or old comics so I have no idea what might interest which of my customers who may or may not have been reading what this trade collects at the time of original publication?

MarvelLogic: I hadn't thought about that. Let me check with...yup, hold up, I got something here for you?

CR: Really? Great! Anything would help at this point; let's face it, your sales aren't what they used to be.

MarvelLogic: Here you go - 

Aibj88qeT.jpg

CR: You are such an asshole!

MarvelLogic: I think you misspelled CLASSIFIED!

CR: Sigh...we'll take 3.

MarvelLogic: You have to say it.

CR: C'mon!

MarvelLogic: Say it. Saaaaayyyyyy iiiiiittttttt!

CR: classified

MarvelLogic: What? I didn't hear you.

CR: Classified.

MarvelLogic: What?

CR: CLASSIFIED! Dammit! Classified! Are you happy now?

MarvelLogic: You'll get your three. We might even ask Diamond to get one to you undamaged and on time.

CR: Thank you.

MarvelLogic:Image result for negan you just thanked me

 

Look for CLASSIFIED PRELUDE by CLASSIFIED and CLASSIFIED with cover by CLASSIFIED collecting NONYA sometime in March.





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