Friday, September 22, 2017 • Afternoon Edition • "Resistance is futile."

'Transformers: The Last Knight' Teases to Mercifully End Our World Then Endure Another TF Movie

Written by Zechs on Monday, January 09 2017 and posted in News with Benefits

'Transformers: The Last Knight' Teases to Mercifully End Our World Then Endure Another TF Movie

Okay not truly merciful, since we've already had to deal with three prior movie sequels. But this will be the one to finally end our misery and our world. Then so be it.



Yes, our world will be ending soon because of Transformers: The Last Knight. It was a long time coming, but they've finally revealed that this will be the live-action Transformers film to destroy the world as we know it.

Wait, that's only going to happen in the movie? We're still going to have to be stuck watching endless TF movies to who knows when? Why? Why can't they just end us? We don't want to watch this anymore. The only people who get pleasure in misery is my friends who take me to see these films for my reactions. To see my eyes be stabbed with plot that's as scantily clad as the human females that run about this universe that director Michael Bay has created. 

WHY?! WHY MUST I SUFFER?! 

Ugh... so yeah the latest ad for Transformers: The Last Knight (which has 0 new footage and just reuses stuff we've seen from the trailer) promises "Two worlds will collide. Only one will survive." Yes, apparently the transformy world we saw in the trailer isn't Unicron, but Cybertron. 

Wait... didn't Cybertron get destroyed in Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) when Optimus Prime kind of destroyed the device that was transporting it near Earth? You know what? Fuck it. Why am I questioning continuity in this franchise when it was up in the air since the very beginning and they just make this up as they go along.

Yep, that's the true continuity I know of this franchise.  Anyway, the ad is leading us to believe that is the cause of why Optimus wants to take down Bumblebee. Not because his eyes are all purple and look like he's on Dark Energon that corrupts the spark of a dead Transformer (wait does that-- no Zechs don't ask questions which will only cause you to drink from the bottle earlier then you should be doing because of these goddamn films). 

Transformers: The Last Knight will be the final night of one of my brain cells dying on June 23rd. 





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About the Author - Zechs


Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.

 


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