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Illinois Man Attacked by Ghosts After Reading Action Comics #979!!

Written by Zechs on Wednesday, May 10 2017 and posted in News with Benefits

Illinois Man Attacked by Ghosts After Reading Action Comics #979!!

The man who is OBVIOUSLY not me was attacked by ghosts today after reading the glorious return of *SPOILER* in Action Comics #979.



Ghosts are apparently real as an Illinois Man was attacked by the spooks after reading Action Comics #979. The Illinois Man, a Mister Sam Waicha from Belleville, IL reported the incident to police earlier today. Of course, just a warning to those who haven't read the issue the man's statement at the Belleville Police Station spoils the ending.

"I just got my comics and just almost done with Action Comics #979. Then it happened. Hank Henshaw ripped off his skin and there was metal under it! Then he kept ripping his skin off until he returned to the Cyborg Superman. That's when the ghosts obviously attacked me. Not because the writer for this issue Dan Jurgens hasn't been teasing this twist for three years since Superman: Lois & Clark #1. Three long years of teasing and entertaining you with the idea of him going Cyborg again. Just when you thought Jurgens would do it. He didn't. Not like he wasn't leaving a fan of that character blue-balled for three odd years. It was the ghosts! They attacked me and covered the inside of my car and myself with ectoplasm!" 

The Bellville Police mostly shrugged the excuse off and questioned why the man's pants were down when the supernatural entities attacked the man. Not only that but the man's tale sounded too similar to that one episode of South Park. One believer of the man's tale was renowned the paranormal expert Professor Thaddeus  T. Puffinbottoms of Phoenix University. "This man was obviously attacked in his car! The road nearby this man's comic shop is littered with a certain rock that contains enough energy for such spooks to attack beings like that! Why just two weeks ago another Illinois man in the Northside area said he also was attacked after reading Detective Comics #955! Before that numerous reports have been sighted all over the country with men and women being attacked by ghosts and getting ectoplasm sprayed all over them after reading a comic from Zenoscope or Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose. We need to take these accounts seriously or else we are subject to more spook attacks occurring!" 

The professor then went on that the only way to prevent further attacks was not to read comic books in parked cars after purchasing them or you will be made an easy target for supernatural forces.  When asked if the Mr. Waicha was just making this up the Professor dismissed such claims as hogwash. So to all reading comics in their cars. Beware! Or else the ghosts will get you! 

So to all reading comics in their cars. Beware! Or else the ghosts will get you! 





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About the Author - Zechs


Zechs is the lord and master of The Toy Shed, Moment of the Week, and Durnkin Reveewz. He's also the official whuppin boy at the Outhouse. So he'll get stuck seeing stuff that no mere mortal should ever see. If there's any greater quality to Zechs, it's that he's an avid fan of comic book characters and would defend them to the bitter end against the companies that use them wrongly. He's also brutally honest. Zechs walks the lonely path in Chicagoland area.

 


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