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Joss Whedon's Ex-Wife Kai Cole Calls Him "Hypocrite Preaching Feminist Ideals"

Written by Tim Midura on Monday, August 21 2017 and posted in News with Benefits

Joss Whedon's Ex-Wife Kai Cole Calls Him

“He used his relationship with me as a shield … so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist."

Source: The Wrap

Kai Cole, architect, producer, and ex-wife of Joss Whedon after 16 years, wrote a scathing op-ed for The Wrap, where she called him a "hypocrite preaching feminist ideals" and claims he had multiple affairs over the course of their marriage, which began on the set of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Cole claims she pushed Whedon to make Buffy into a TV show, after the failure of the movie.

In a letter to Cole at the end of their marriage, Whedon wrote to her saying,

"When I was running 'Buffy,' I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can't touch it."

She then explains that Whedon was aware of his two lives and his acceptance of its duality.

"I let myself love you. I stopped worrying about the contradiction. As a guilty man I knew the only way to hide was to act as though I were righteous. And as a husband, I wanted to be with you like we had been. I lived two lives.

Cole says that he deceived her for 15 years and never conceded the hypocrisy of him being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away her right to make choices for her life and her body based on the truth.

I believed, everyone believed, that he was one of the good guys, committed to fighting for women's rights, committed to our marriage, and to the women he worked with. But I now see how he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.

Cole was diagnosed with Complex PTSD and says she has worked hard to make sense of everything that happened. She closes with the following,

We're finally divorced; I'm doing architecture again, and slowly getting my life and self-esteem back.

Until recently, Joss was still letting the illusion of our marriage stay intact. Now that it is finally public, I want to let women know that he is not who he pretends to be. I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honoring a man who does not practice what he preaches. But no matter what happens, or how people interpret this statement, I no longer have to carry the burden of Joss' long-term deceit and confessions. I am free.


A representative for Whedon provided The Wrap with the following statement.

While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife.


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About the Author - Tim Midura

Born in the frozen tundra of Massachusetts, Tim Midura has long possessed a love for comic books and records. After stealing the beard of Zeus and inventing the pizza bagel, a much more heavily tattooed and bearded Tim Midura has finally settled in San Diego. He's the world's first comics journalist who doesn't want to become a comics writer. Find him on twitter, facebook or by email.

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