Saturday, November 18, 2017 • Morning Edition • "The place to talk some shit."

Outhouse Shocker: New It Film Doesn't Include Preteen Orgy In Sewer

Written by Tim Midura on Monday, September 11 2017 and posted in News with Benefits

Outhouse Shocker: New It Film Doesn't Include Preteen Orgy In Sewer

I hear they're saving it for the sequel.


Source: It

When books are adapted to film, there are always purists who complain that the film didn't follow the book to a T. The Harry Potter franchise left out the Rita Skeeter plot twist. The Hunger Games films had wolf-like animals attack Katniss and Peeta, but didn't mention they were mutant dogs made of corpses of dead tributes. Forrest Gump left out the part where Forrest and an ape go to space.

It, the novel, featured a part where The Losers Club decide they need to bond and end up having a prepubescent orgy in a sewer. It, the film, left this out.

For comment on this, The Outhouse sent ace reporter Tim Midura to get the opinion of a man on the street. Midura located one such man parked in a windowless van across the street from the local elementary school. 

"I get it. I do get it," said Strickland, a self-described purist. "Some bigwig movie executive decided that we shouldn't see a preteen sex romp in glorious IMAX. But that's a big part of the book, you know? The Losers Club really comes together in that moment. Get it? Come together. It's a bonding experience for those kids. It's important. Plus, that Stranger Things kid, wowie zowie."

Strickland clarified that the preteen sex orgy isn't the only thing he loves about It. "Those kids really know how to keep a secret," Strickland gushed, pointing out how they never told adults about the evil clown stalking them from the sewers. "It's really important for kids to know how to keep secrets."

The Outhouse immediately forwarded Mr. Strickland's information to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

It is in theaters now.





Loading...

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:



Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Tim Midura


Born in the frozen tundra of Massachusetts, Tim Midura has long possessed a love for comic books and records. After stealing the beard of Zeus and inventing the pizza bagel, a much more heavily tattooed and bearded Tim Midura has finally settled in San Diego. He's the world's first comics journalist who doesn't want to become a comics writer. Find him on twitter, facebook or by email.


More articles from Tim Midura
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!