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Citizens Of Munchkinland Rejoice As Dan Slott Enters Final Spider-Man Arc

Written by Tim Midura on Tuesday, December 19 2017 and posted in News with Benefits

Citizens Of Munchkinland Rejoice As Dan Slott Enters Final Spider-Man Arc

The dimunitive residents of Oz rejoiced upon hearing Slott's reign of terror would be over.

Source: Marvel Solicitations

Cheerful song broke out in the fictional country of Munchkinland upon hearing the news that Dan Slott would be entering his last arc on Spider-Man, according to the publisher's solicits. "Ding dong, the witch is dead! The witch is dead! The witch is dead!" sang many of the country's residents in spontaneous celebration. The Oz region had long been terrorized by Slott's Spider-Man arcs and twitter rampages, which had been likened to being attacked by a flock of flying monkeys.

The news was first announced by the Good Witch Glinda. "Come out, come out, wherever you are," said the witch, "and meet the writer who fell from a star. He fell from the sky. He fell very far. Writing, he says, is the name of the star."

"Writing, he says, is the name of the star," affirmed the Munchkins, referring to the long-tenured Slott on the title.

"As Coroner, I thoroughly examined [Dan Slott's arc]," said Munchkinland's resident coroner, George Marston. "And Dan Slott's Spider-Man at Marvel is not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead."

"Hooray!" said the assembled crowd.

"Just like the editorial oversight at Marvel has been for years," Marston added.

The fanbase began to celebrate and parade throughout the city, introducing themselves as they went. "We represent the Lollipop Guild," said one group, referring to fans of Marvel's Aunt May.

"We represent the Lullaby League," said another group, the tired fans who are sick of reading Slott's Spider-Man.

Dan Slott then departed Munchkinland in the company of J. Michael Straczynski, a straw man who lacked a brain, Brian Michael Bendis, a tin man without a heart, and Stan Lee, who is still Chairman Emeritus.

Munchkinland had long complained about Slott's work on the title, which has been described as "repetitive."

"But it wasn't a dream," explained one reader. "It was a real company, with real comics. And you and you and you...and you were there, reading it too. But you couldn't have been could you? No, these were truly terrible comics, and I remember some of it wasn't very good, but most of it was fine-- but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was 'I just want less Spider-Island' and then he left the title! Doesn't anybody believe me? But anyway, he's gone! Gone. And this is my room, and you're all here and I'm not going to look at Dan Slott, ever again, or at least until he comes back when Nick Spencer can't hack it! Because I love you all. And... Oh Excelsior! There's no place like home!"


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About the Author - Tim Midura

Born in the frozen tundra of Massachusetts, Tim Midura has long possessed a love for comic books and records. After stealing the beard of Zeus and inventing the pizza bagel, a much more heavily tattooed and bearded Tim Midura has finally settled in San Diego. He's the world's first comics journalist who doesn't want to become a comics writer. Find him on twitter, facebook or by email.

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