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Marvel To Continue Fox Tradition Of Ruining Fantastic Four By Hiring Dan Slott For Relaunch

Written by Tim Midura on Thursday, March 29 2018 and posted in News with Benefits

Marvel To Continue Fox Tradition Of Ruining Fantastic Four By Hiring Dan Slott For Relaunch

They've had years to plan for this.

Source: Marvel Comics

With a Disney buyout of Fox on the horizon, Marvel has decided it's the time to bring the Fantastic Four back now that they can profit off the future films. The only issue is that Marvel is continuing the Fox tradition of churning out awful Fantastic Four stories by attaching Dan Slott to the relaunch. Balancing Slott out will be Sara Pichelli on art duties.

Marvel Editor-In-Chief Akira Yoshida sat down with Agent M to discuss the relaunch.


Unlike other soft relaunches (Marvel Two-in-One), Fantastic Four will see the return of the complete family: JohnnySueReed, and The Thing.

The Outhouse can EXXCLUSIVELY reveal that the relaunch will be a parallel of the current White House administration. Lovers Reed and Sue will be parallels of lovers Trump and Ivanka, while Johnny and The Thing will be parallels of Melania and Jared.

Reed will attempt to build a wall around the Negative Zone, despite not being able to find the funding, with Reed saying, "The negative zone doesn't send their best. These are super-powered criminals, bug-like alien swarms, trans-dimensional conquerors... some of them are fine people."

No word yet if Marvel will allow Slott's updated The Thing catchphrase of "It's pussy-grabbing time!"

Fantastic Four #1 is set to launch in August.

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