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One Million Moms Issues Follow-Up Statement on Comic Books

Written by ThanosCopter on Friday, May 25 2012 and posted in News with Benefits

A follow-up statement from the controversial conservative group.

Yesterday, conservative news group One Million Moms issued a statement condemning both Marvel and DC for condoning homosexuality in their comic books, which is sure to corrupt the approximately forty-two comic book readers under the age of sixteen.

Today, One Million Moms issued a statement further condemning the comic book industry for depictions of various sins in their publications. 

Yesterday, our organization called for a protest of Marvel and DC for their outrageous and appalling depiction of "the gheys" in their comic books.  After issuing this statement, we decided to actually read some comic books and were stunned with what we found.  Comic books are a cesspool of awful, unbiblical behavior which has the potential to irrepairably corrupt our youth...FOREVER (ever...ever...ever....)

Take, for instance, Uncanny X-Men #8.  This issue features the character Namor EATING A SHELLFISH.  As Christians, we know this is a sin. (Leviticus 19:28).

Or, in Nightwing #93, when the character Tarantula rapes the title character in the book and subsequentially neglects to pay Batman the 40 sheckels owed in payment for taking his adopted son's virginity.  According to the Bible, a rapist must pay retribution and marry his/her victim (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).

Also, there's these uppity women in comics.  In Uncanny X-Men #508, Emma Frost speaks to Nightcrawler inside a church, directly violating 1 Corinthians 14:34, which states that no woman shall speak inside a church.  Is this the sort of behavior we want to promote in our children?  Females speaking in church?  Next thing, they'll be wanting to have careers or vote!

Then there is the seeming abundance of sinners such as Professor X, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, Dr. Strange, Dr. Fate, Zatanna, Dr. Druid, and John Constantine, all of whom are either psychics or wizards.  Leviticus 20:27 specifically condemns both and calls for them to be stoned to death.  We're stunned that there hasn't been a Stoning Special by either company yet.

Then, of course, there's the outrageous clothing that most of the characters wear.  According to the Bible, good Christians will not weave together the fabrics of two different materials. (Leviticus 19:19).  Does one really think that Captain America's stylish outfits are made of 100% wool or cotton? Outrage!

In summation, we highly encourage you to keep up the protest. If all one million mothers protest this, we might be able to affect these sinful companies' balance sheets by $100 or more! 

This statement is satire and is not an actual statement from One Million Moms.

Written or Contributed by: ThanosCopter

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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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