Diamond revealed a buttload of PREVIEWS exclusives for the San Diego Comic Con, and this reporter will tell you which ones are most likely to get you laid!
Warning: The following article about toy dolls is for mature audiences only.
If there's one thing this reporter knows, it's that chicks dig toys. That's why this reporter was super stoked to see all the awesome exclusives Diamond will be releasing at San Diego Comic Con, because, while I'm happily married myself, I want the best for all of you, and that means you need some rare and exclusive toys to show off to potential mates and really get their juices flowing. Let's see what exclusives Diamond's PREVIEWS has for us this year...
SDCC 2012 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN MOVIE METALLIC BUST
Diamond Select Toys' bust of Spider-Man from the new Amazing Spider-Man movie just got even more amazing! This SDCC-exclusive version sports a metallic paint scheme and stands almost 10 inches tall! Available from Diamond Comic Distributors (Booth #2401) and Diamond Select Toys (#2607).
LIMITED TO 600 PIECES.
What babe will be able to resist this provocative pose? Nothing says "wanna get finger-popped?" like Ol' Webhead just sticking out his hand and going for it. As a bonus, his left hand is prepared to deliver a modified shocker. The statue is almost ten inches tall, which should let her know that while you may not measure up in other areas, your superhero statues are more than adequate.
SDCC 2012 BATMAN BEARBRICK
Medicom and Diamond Comic Distributors have teamed for a San Diego Comic Con exclusive that no toy collector or comics fan will want to miss -- the DC Be@rbrick Batman Mini-Figure! One of the world's most famous superheroes will strike fear into a cowardly and superstitious lot as a 2" tall bat-clad bear! This limited edition figure, sure to be a highly-sought-after collectible, comes packaged on its own individual blister pack, with artwork modeled after Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez's classic DC Style Guide designs.
LIMITED TO 2,000 PIECES.
Chicks dig Batman. He's dark. He's elusive. He has a tight bod wrapped in skintight leather, sometimes with nipples built right into the suit. We can't have our Batman toys bogarting our chicks, bro! That's why you should get your hands on this Batman Bearbrick. He's fat, round, and non-threatening, just like you. Finally, you'll be on equal footing with the Dark Knight!
SDCC 2012 BATTLE BEASTS MINIMATES TWO-PACK
The first series of Battle Beasts Minimates won't be out until this fall, but Diamond Select Toys is offering fans a preview set that's only at SDCC! The fully painted two-pack of 2-inch Beasts includes the heroic ram Vorin, star of the IDW comic series, and an all-new villainous dragonfly character, Zik! Available from Diamond Comic Distributors (Booth #2401) and Diamond Select Toys (#2607).
LIMITED TO 3,000 PIECES.
After three blockbuster movies, every foxy lady in the world is familiar with the Transformers, which means that you, as a comic book geek, no longer have an advantage over all the jocks and business men competing for their affections. Get that advantage back by showing off your knowledge of this much more obscure Transformers spinoff, originally known as BeastFormers! Sorry, guy with lots of money, big muscles, and no paralyzing fear of human social interaction... the lady's with me now that I have this Battle Beasts Minimates Two Pack.
SDCC 2012 STAR WARS R2-R9 BANK
From Diamond Select Toys' popular line of Star Wars banks comes a new, exclusive droid! Only available at SDCC, this 10-inch vinyl bank of R2-R9 from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace has a slot in the back for storing your loose change, not to mention your secret battle plans. Best of all, this 1/4 scale figure fits in perfectly with your Ultimate Quarter Scale action figure collection!
LIMITED TO 1,000 PIECES.
Every nerd on the block has a massive R2-D2 piggybank, so why should she crawl into your twin size bed over any of theirs? Show your potential lover that one day, you will save up enough of your allowance to move out of your parent's house while boldly displaying your belief in the superiority of the prequels over the original trilogy by going with R2-R9 instead!
SDCC 2012 MARVEL MINIMATES AVENGERS VS X-MEN BOX SET
The hottest comics crossover of the summer is now the coolest con-exclusive Minimate 4-pack! Hope Summers may be humanity's destroyer or mutantkind's savior, but whichever it is, three of the most powerful mutants in the X-Men army have united to protect her from Captain America and the Avengers. Hope's first-ever Minimate 2-inch minifigure is joined by three brand-new Minimates of Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Colossus in his new Juggernaut-inspired look.
LIMITED TO 3,000 PIECES.
"No baby, that's not Jean Grey. What, you haven't heard the story of the five lights? Well, crawl up in bed with me - no, watch out for the pipes, my parents haven't had the basement finished yet - and let me tell you about how one sixteen year old girl, raised in an apocalyptic future by a half-cyborg telepath, will one day become the savior of the mutant race. Hey, where did your underpants go, baby?"
SDCC 2012 WALKING DEAD RICK & ZOMBIE MINIMATE TWO-PACK
The first two Walking Dead Minimates from Diamond Select Toys are only at SDCC! This two-pack of 2-inch minifigures includes a "battle-damaged" version of Officer Rick Grimes and a casual-attire zombie!
LIMITED TO 3,000 PIECES.
A woman wants to know that her man can protect her in case of a zombie apocalypse. While you may not have survival skills, cunning instincts, or the ability to run more than twenty feet without stopping to use your asthma inhaler, you've got something those other guys don't: you've played zombie apocalypse. With dolls.
Source: Toy Chest News
Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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